I Wish I Was The Moon
by Gryffindork11
Summary: Hermione hasn't been able to get over losing the man that she loves in the Battle of Hogwarts. She is simply existing through life rather than living it. But her life changes when, in a visit to Hogwarts, Hermione stumbles upon the Resurrection Stone and her lover appears to her again. Rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Hermione Granger sighed and glanced up at the clock. Only half an hour to go before the work day ended. She was glad. Today had been a day of tedious paperwork and monotonous staff meetings.

When Hermione had been approached by the Ministry of Magic, offering her a position in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, she had enthusiastically accepted it. At first, she had enjoyed the work. In the first couple of months she gained a lot of Basic Wizard Rights for Muggle-borns, and she had even managed to dissuade the Ministry from enforcing a marriage law between purebloods and Muggle-borns.

After she had achieved this she had tried to begin the important work she had always intended to do in her job: fighting for the rights of werewolves. But the Ministry disagreed with her views. Even after the Wizarding War, or maybe even because of it, they still feared, mistrusted and loathed werewolves. They forbade Hermione from doing this work, and instead limited her to cases involving goblins and house elves that had been abused by wizards.

Now, over a year later, Hermione hated her job. She lived only for Friday evenings and dreaded Monday mornings most of all. Yes, she was very glad that it was nearing the end of the day.

She thought longingly of her little apartment. She couldn't wait to change out of her work clothes and straight into her pyjamas and dressing gown. She couldn't wait to make herself a cup of tea and curl up on her sofa with a good book.

But no, she wouldn't be doing that tonight, she suddenly remembered. She was going out for a drink with Ron today. She sighed. Something else she wasn't particularly looking forward to. She usually didn't mind going out with Ron but today she was tired and frustrated with work, and she just wanted to relax.

Hermione carried on working, occasionally looking up at the clock. Finally, at two minutes to five, she put down her quill and put the lid back on her bottle of ink. She waved her wand and her desk tidied itself, the parchment organised in a tidy pile, the quills arranged neatly in their holder. She picked up her bag and took her coat off the hook by the door. Then she walked out her office, the stress of work already beginning to dissolve away. She went to the ladies restroom and changed out of her work clothes before walking down to the Atrium to meet Ron.

He smiled when he saw her. 'Hermione, you look great.'

He leaned down and kissed her cheek.

'Thanks, Ron,' she said, believing the opposite.

She knew Ron thought she looked good. But she didn't feel comfortable, and that made her self-conscious. She wore make-up and had meticulously charmed her hair until it was completely straight, just the way Ron liked it. She wore heels because Ron always complained that she was too short. She also wore a necklace that Ron had bought her for Valentine's day, which she didn't actually like.

'Shall we get going?' Ron suggested.

'Okay,' she agreed as Ron wrapped his arm around her and began to lead her out of the Ministry building.

'Where were you thinking of taking me?' she asked, concentrating on not stumbling in her heels.

'Cannons' Club,' he replied.

Hermione groaned inwardly. The Cannons' Club was a private bar for the members of the Chudley Cannons and their fans. It was where Ron always took her and she was bored of it. She didn't like all the Quidditch talk and she didn't like the way Ron's fans crowded them. But, she supposed that's what happened when you dated the Keeper of the Chudley Cannons.

'It's just going to be me and you, though?' she asked.

'Of course, babe,' he said, giving her a little squeeze.

When they got to the crowded bar, Hermione found them a table while Ron got their drinks. She watched him as he chatted with the barman and a group of rowdy, probably drunken Cannons' fans. He was in his element as he joked and laughed, enjoying the popularity that his career had given him. Ten minutes later, when she was beginning to become bored, he finally brought their drinks over to the table.

'Thanks,' Hermione said, sipping the glass of wine that he placed in front of her.

For some reason Ron assumed that women drank wine, while beer and whisky were drinks more suited to men. Hermione actually didn't much like alcohol; she'd much rather have butterbeer or Cola.

Ron nodded. 'I've also ordered some food, you look thin, Hermione, you need to eat more.'

She shrugged. 'I'm not hungry. Anyway, I'm fine.'

'No, you're not,' he said. 'You always look pale and exhausted. You never seem happy. What's wrong, Hermione?'

She began to feel awkward, unsure of what she should say. 'Nothing, I-'

'The war is over, Hermione,' Ron said gently. 'I know a lot of awful things happened. I know a lot of lives were lost but… I'm worried about why you haven't recovered yet.'

'I'm getting better,' Hermione lied.

'I don't think you are,' he said. 'I think you need to see someone. Don't Muggles have those special doctors? What're they called? Psychiatrists? Maybe they could help.'

She nodded. 'Okay, Ron, I'll think about it.'

'Don't worry, babe,' he said, grabbing her hand. 'Everything will get better after we're married.'

She smiled at him. 'Have you asked Harry to be your best man yet?'

'Yeah I asked him last week,' he replied. 'By the way, Mum told me to remind you that you still need to come over so she can start planning the wedding with you.'

'Okay,' she said slightly reluctantly. 'I'll do that soon.'

'I know she can be annoying,' Ron said apologetically, 'but you know what she's like. There hasn't been a Weasley wedding since Harry and Ginny's, so she's excited.'

Hermione dreaded talking to her soon-to-be mother-in-law. She didn't want to think about the wedding. She couldn't face choosing a dress and the flowers the dozens of other things that weddings required.

Two months ago, when Hermione and Ron's relationship had reached its first anniversary, he taken her out to dinner in the swankiest restaurant in London and he had proposed in front of a room full of others diners and waiters.

Luckily, Hermione had anticipated the impending proposal, so she didn't suffer much embarrassment. She also prepared an answer to the question.

While Hermione didn't love Ron perhaps as deeply as a girl should when she was thinking of marrying a man, and she knew he wasn't completely right for her, he was familiar and she was content enough with him to imagine a comfortable future. She often felt guilty about marrying Ron for the wrong reasons but anytime she thought of a future with nothing but her loneliness and despair for company, her reservations melted away.

'Look, it's Ron Weasley!' chorused a group of girl who had just spotted the famous Quidditch player.

'Hello, girls,' Ron said easily, waving at them.

They rushed over to the table with huge smiles on their faces. They were all tall and well-endowed in the chest department. They all wore short dresses and killer heels. One was blonde, and the other two were brunettes.

'Can we get your autograph?' the blonde asked.

Hermione tried not to roll her eyes.

'Sure,' said Ron with a grin. He took the poster of himself that the girl was holding and pulled a pen from his pocket. 'What are your names?'

'I'm Chelsea,' said one brunette, who then pointed to the other brunette and the blonde. 'And they are Danielle and Erika.'

Ron nodded and began to write. Danielle suddenly noticed Hermione sitting quietly at the table.

'You're Hermione Granger,' she said with keen interest.

'Yes, I am, nice to meet you.'

'You're lucky,' said Chelsea, 'getting to date a famous Quidditch player.'

'She is _really_ lucky,' said Danielle. 'Don't you remember when she was at Hogwarts? She was involved with Viktor Krum.'

Both girls sounded as though they couldn't fathom how she had managed to attract the interest of not one but _two_ rich, famous and completely eligible young men. Hermione began to feel annoyed.

Ron stopped writing and raised his eyebrows at the trio. 'She's over that little phase now, aren't you, babe?' He asked and continued speaking without bothering to wait for an answer. 'She's completely patriotic now, only British players will do.'

'I'll say,' said Erika, giving him a flirty grin. While the brunettes had been talking about Hermione, the other hadn't been able to take her eyes off Ron.

Ron winked at Erika and she giggled.

'Now which one of you lovely ladies gets to keep this poster?'

'We're roommates, so we're going to share you,' said Danielle suggestively.

Ron handed back the poster with a smile.

'Can we join you?' asked Erika eagerly.

'Yeah, sure,' Ron said and then quickly looked at Hermione. 'That's okay with you, right, babe?'

'Of course,' said Hermione unenthusiastically, remembering that Ron had promised that it was going to be just the two of them.

She succumbed to boredom as Ron and the girls chatted about his Quidditch career and personal life. She quietly sipped her wine, trying not to be offended that Ron had completely forgotten she was here.

As soon as Hermione finished her drink she stood up and started putting on her coat.

'Ron, I'm going home now, I'm tired.'

Ron halted his animated conversation and glanced up. 'But what about the food? That girl's bringing it over, look. You should eat.'

Hermione shook her head. 'No thanks. I'm not hungry; I just want to leave.'

'Okay,' Ron said, standing up, looking as though he was preparing to leave as well. 'Wait just a minute.'

'It's okay, Ron,' she said. 'You stay, I don't mind.'

'Are you sure you don't want me to take you home?'

'No I'm fine. I'll see you soon.'

'Okay,' he said, giving her a quick kiss on the lips. 'Goodnight, babe.'

'Goodnight,' she said. She left the bar and walked a little way down the street and then apparated to her apartment.

As soon as she got inside, she started the kettle boiling and changed into her pyjamas. She felt cold as usual so she reached into her wardrobe and pulled out a thick brown jumper. She slipped into it. It was a man's jumper so it was much too big for her but it was so cosy and she loved it. She made a pot of tea, got out some biscuits and went to curl up on her sofa.

Now that she was alone she could finally let the barriers fall. She reached over and took a framed photograph from the little table to right of the sofa. She looked at it as tears began to well in her eyes.

It was a magical photograph, the images of the two people contained in it were moving. The photograph showed a man and a girl, clearly in love. They laughed and smiled. Sometimes they kissed tenderly. Sometimes the man wrapped his arm around the woman and she snuggled happily into his side.

The photograph showed Hermione and the man she was in love with, the man whose jumper she was currently wearing and the man who had lost his life fighting in the battle at Hogwarts.

'Oh, Remus,' Hermione whispered as the tears began to fall.


	2. Chapter 2

**I realised I haven't included a disclaimer for this story. I am not JK Rowling. All the characters belong to her and I'm just fortunate enough to have the chance to play with them for a while.**

**An explanation of this story: it is set six years after Deathly Hallows and is slightly AU after The Order of the Phoenix. In the background for my story, Hermione and Remus were very close and eventually fell in love with each other. In order for me to fully understand them, I wrote a series of scenes detailing the progression of their relationship. I really enjoyed writing them and I can't resist including them in my story so they've become memories or flashbacks that Remus has while he exists in the afterlife (which I will explain all about in this chapter). When you see a date e.g. August 1995 written in italics, that is when a flashback begins.**

**Now, that's enough rambling from me. On with the chapter!**

* * *

Remus Lupin dreamed. He dreamed of the past. Or was it the future? He couldn't tell; time had little meaning where he was. Perhaps terms such as 'past' and 'future' didn't apply anymore; he didn't know.

But how could he possibly be dreaming of the future? He didn't have a future, he was dead. Somehow, he knew that.

So he must be dreaming of the past. He dreamed- he always dreamed- of a girl. A small, pretty girl with long wild brown hair and brown eyes. She was familiar to him. He felt like he had known her very well, had been very close to her, had… loved her.

Her name came back to him. Hermione. His beautiful Hermione. The wolf within him growled in agreement. The dream of her presented itself to him like a story…

* * *

_August 1995_

In the beginning, Remus Lupin thought of Hermione Granger as little more than an ex-student of his, one whose intelligence he greatly admired and one who, since he had lost his job, he had formed an acquaintance with. Their friendship really started one day during the summer of 1995, when Hermione had not long turned fifteen. It was Remus's first visit to Grimmauld Place, the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix, where Hermione, Harry and the Weasley family were spending the summer.

On the night that Voldemort had returned, Remus's quiet evening had been interrupted by Sirius turning up on his doorstep with the grim news that Remus had been waiting for since Pettigrew had escaped: the wizarding world was at war once again. Sirius had stayed with Remus for a few weeks while Dumbledore mobilised the Order of the Phoenix and they eventually decided that Grimmauld Place would be their headquarters.

Due to the important work Remus was doing in the werewolf communities, it was another few weeks before he set foot in Sirius's dingy old home. He had never before visited the place; Sirius's insanely pure-blood parents would have never allowed a werewolf in the house. When Remus finally did get to see Sirius's childhood home, he pitied his friend for ever having to live there and for being related to the vile wizards who had inhabited it.

Remus had delivered his report to Sirius and the Order's lieutenants: Kingsley and Madeye. Shortly Snape arrived to deliver his own report and, knowing he wasn't required to be present for that, Remus asked Sirius if he could see the renowned library of the House of Black.

The library seemed to have escaped the squalor that the rest of the house suffered. It was larger than his own cottage but the floor-to-ceiling bookcases and dark, heavy drapes made the room seem smaller and more intimate. The room received little natural light and was illuminated only by candlesticks fixed to the walls. While the edges of the room were mainly lined by mahogany bookcases, there was also an impressive fireplace surrounded by a Gothic winged back sofa with four matching winged back chairs.

On the sofa was Hermione Granger, curled up with a book on her lap. She was so absorbed in the book that she didn't hear him enter the room. Remus paused, silently watching her in amusement. She had her usual look of deep concentration on her face. She occasionally lifted her hand from the book to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. But her hair was so unruly that it kept springing back to dangle in front of her face. It was endearing. Remus continued to watch her but after a moment he realised that he must look slightly strange, watching her without announcing his presence. Yet he didn't want to disturb her.

He had no choice, however, when he sneezed loudly. Hermione jumped and looked up. When she realised it was him she smiled warmly.

'Professor Lupin!' she said. 'What are you doing here?'

He smiled back at her. 'Please, call me Remus. I'm not your professor anymore. And I was just giving my latest report; I thought while I'm here I would come and have a poke around Sirius's famous library.'

'It's great, isn't it,' Hermione gushed. 'I've never been in a wizarding library before, apart from Hogwarts, of course.'

'Yes, it certainly is grand,' Remus said, gazing around at the bookcases.

'There are so many amazing books here,' Hermione continued, enthusiastically rising from her seat. She quickly browsed the nearest bookcase until she found what she was looking for. 'Look, a biography of Godric Gryffindor written by the first Hogwarts matron; I bet that's fascinating.'

'You might want to be careful, though,' Remus cautioned her. 'Knowing the kind of dark wizards Sirius's parents were, I'm sure there are some nasty books stashed away in here.'

She nodded. 'Did you know the Blacks?'

He shook his head. 'I only knew what Sirius told me. Oh, how he hated them. During the summer between our second and third years Sirius actually asked if I could stay over for a week. As if a werewolf would be welcome in their perfect pure-blood home.' He noticed the sympathy on her face, and blushed.

'Are you still having problems with your condition?' she asked.

Remus hesitated before answering. The conversation was becoming a touch too personal for his liking. He didn't enjoy talking about his condition with anyone. Yet Hermione didn't judge him; she had even kept his secret for him when she didn't have to.

'Yes,' he admitted. 'I haven't been able to find a job since I left Hogwarts and… a couple of months ago I was accosted by a werewolf hate-group.'

Hermione's eyes widened in concern. 'Remus! Are you okay?'

He nodded. 'I'm used to it.'

She accepted his response but she still looked worried. Remus felt himself warmed by the thought that someone cared about him.

Hermione was about to say something else when the door burst open and Harry and Ron stumbled into the room apparently after having shoved and scuffled with each other out in the hallway.

'Hermione, there you are!' exclaimed Ron. 'Oh, hi Remus.'

'Hello again, Remus,' Harry said, smiling slightly.

Ron nudged Harry with his elbow. 'See, Harry? I told you Hermione would be holed up in the library.'

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron but didn't say anything.

'What are you boys up to?' Remus asked.

'We were just about to play Quidditch in the garden with Ginny, Fred and George,' Harry explained.

'Come with us, Hermione,' Ron said eagerly. 'We need an extra player.'

Hermione shook her head. 'No, thanks, I'd rather stay in here.'

'Come on, Hermione, don't be boring. Why do you want to sit in a stuffy library anyway? You do enough of that at Hogwarts.'

Hermione sighed impatiently. 'Ronald, you know I don't like Quidditch.' Her tone and her expression were firm.

'Fine, I'll just ask Sirius,' Ron said. 'Come on, Harry.'

They left the room and could be heard bantering loudly in the hallway about who was going to win their three-a-side Quidditch match.

Remus turned to Hermione and smiled. 'I didn't know you weren't that big a fan of Quidditch. Almost everyone in the wizarding world is.'

'I can't stand it,' Hermione said, pulling a face. 'I actually find it boring. I'd much rather sit in a library.'

'I'd rather sit in a library any day than watch Quidditch as well.'

She nodded, looking pleased to finally have someone agree with her. Not to be deterred from their earlier conversation, she turned back to the bookcases.

'Let me show you some of these marvellous books,' she said.

Remus stood by and watched her delight as she handed him book after book, until they were piled so high in his arms that he could barely see her anymore. He placed the stack of books on a nearby table.

'Hermione, stop,' he said with a laugh. 'I think you've given me enough reading material to keep me going until Christmas.'

She turned to him and smiled. 'You're welcome,' she said brightly.

'You know, if you like wizarding libraries, you'll love the one at the Wizarding University of London,' he told her.

'There's a Wizarding University?'

'Yes, for people who get a minimum of three Outstanding and two Exceeds Expectations grades in their NEWTS,' he explained. 'You should think about applying in your seventh year.'

'And you really think they'd let me in. A Muggle-born?'

'Hermione, you're one of the greatest young witches of the twentieth century,' Remus said. 'Of course they'll let you in.'

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes brightened at his compliment. 'Thank you,' she said quietly.

'You'll love it there,' he promised. 'I'll take you there this summer to have a look around, when I'm not too busy with my work for the Order.'

'You will? That's brilliant, Remus.' She beamed up at him, her brown eyes full of gratitude.

Remus smiled back down at her, feeling the familiar pleasure that only being kind and good to people can bring.

And that was how the friendship between Remus and Hermione began. As she promised, he did take her to visit the Wizarding University. They had a pleasant afternoon strolling around the campus, admiring the buildings, and sitting in a pleasant little café drinking tea and chatting.

Over the course of the summer they spent a lot of time together. They spent many hours discussing books in the library and Remus started inviting Hermione on walks with him. Hermione persuaded Remus to visit Muggle museums with her and they both found themselves enjoying one another's company.

They went from being casual acquaintances to close friends. By the end of the summer, Hermione was spending more time with Remus than she was with Harry or Ron. When the new school term at Hogwarts began, Hermione returned to school and Remus missed her. He wished he was back teaching again so that he could see her.

* * *

The dream faded and Remus came back to himself. He was lying on the floor of the dark forest, thankfully alone.

He got up and loped over to the stream where he lapped some cool water. Being dead, drinking wasn't strictly necessary but he did it anyway.

He gazed at his reflection in the water, a large black wolf with orange eyes reflecting back at him. He hated this bestial form he was stuck in.

When he had been alive he had looked like a man. He had been a werewolf, but he had only transformed once a month. When he had died, the wolf part of him seemed to become more dominant and his spirit had taken on his animal form. But, unlike his monthly transformations when he had been alive, here he had retained all of his human faculties. He had become a human spirit trapped inside a wolf.

Obviously he hadn't known what awaited him after death, but he had expected to be reunited with his friends, Sirius, James and Lily.

Instead, he found himself here, in a world that completely consisted of a dense, gloomy forest. He knew because he had wandered and wandered, exploring his surroundings and had never found anything except trees.

The forest wasn't like any he had ever been in when he was alive. This forest was too quiet. There was no sound of the wind rustling the leaves of the trees and there were no sounds of other animals. Even the stream was eerily silent. The forest was also dark; very little light permeated the thick canopy of leaves. It was a sad and lonely place.

The forest, Remus had realised, was a kind of limbo, a place where the souls of werewolves were sent when they died. He came to this conclusion when, on his travels, he had met a few other wolves.

Mostly, they were cruel, vicious creatures and Remus stayed away from them. He would rather be lonely than associate himself with their evil.

Remus spent his time wandering the forest, trying to control the wolf part of him that had become stronger since he had died. He found that the more active his spirit was, the easier it was to subdue the wolf. But every so often, while he was wandering, he became inexplicably weary. This was when he curled up on the floor of the forest and slept, always dreaming of Hermione.

His dreams were always memories of his last two or so years of life. This was the period when his relationship with Hermione had developed from acquaintances, to friends, to lovers. Even when he wasn't dreaming, he was reliving those memories as he wandered the forest. They were all he had…

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this. I know that the werewolf afterlife might seem like a strange setting but I can assure you that most of the story takes place in the ordinary wizarding world. By the way, I am sorry if you noticed any mistakes or typos, I don't have a beta. Please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello everyone, here's chapter three :) I've decided to try to keep to an update schedule of Wednesdays and Saturdays. Thank you for the lovely reviews, they encourage me to write faster!**

**This chapter mostly consists of Remus's flashbacks/memories. It's also quite a long chapter, I hope that's okay. **

**By the way, I'm not JK Rowling and I don't own any of the characters (unfortunately).**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Remus had very little to occupy him in the forest. He rarely saw other wolves and he had never seen any other wildlife. All he could do was wander and wander, exploring the seemingly endless expanse of woodland, hoping that the landscape would change, hoping for some variation- _any _variation- in his diminished existence. He had his dreams, of course. He always had his dreams and he was thankful for them. Sometimes, he was so desperate to dream that he purposefully ran and leapt between the trees, which he usually avoided because it expended so much energy.

But recently, he had found himself doing it a lot, and now was one of those times. He ran until he felt the familiar exhaustion creeping up on him and he gratefully lay down at the foot of a nearby tree, closed his eyes and began to dream…

_December 1995_

'Goodnight,' Remus murmured to Molly and Arthur as they went to bed. He didn't look at them; he had been watching Hermione reading for the past half an hour.

He and Hermione were the only people up now. It was midnight of Christmas day. Harry, Ron and the other Weasleys had gone to bed an hour before, exhausted after a day of laughter, excitement and over-indulgence. He and Hermione were the only ones who hadn't over done it on the alcohol and food, so they were more alert than the others.

Hermione hadn't noticed that everyone else had gone to bed. When Harry and Ron began a loud game of Monopoly with Fred, George and Ginny she had decided she'd rather read. The book was a collection of British wizarding poetry that Remus himself had bought her.

He thought back to the look of delight on her face when she opened his gift. She immediately leaned over and hugged him, thanking him for the thoughtful present. No one else had bought her a book. Mrs Weasley had given her a matching hand-knitted set of garments: a jumper, scarf, hat and mittens. Harry had given her a writing set complete with parchment, quills and different coloured inks. Ron's present was the worst; he had given her a set of Playwitch's Essential Make-Up, which was ridiculous, because Hermione rarely wore any. He obviously hadn't thought about what Hermione would really want.

As Remus watched her turning the pages of the book, he smiled and was pleased that she seemed to like his present best. He yawned as he suddenly felt tired in mind and body. Although he hadn't been drinking- he couldn't because it aggravated his condition, dulling his senses and energising the wolf within- he had felt exhausted for the last few days because the full moon had only just passed.

Hermione shut her book and looked up. She looked surprised to realise that almost everyone had gone to bed. She glanced at Remus.

'Enjoying the book?' Remus asked with a small smile.

'Yes, I am,' she replied, smiling back. 'It's brilliant; thank you, Remus.'

'You're welcome. And thank you for the book you bought me.'

Hermione nodded. 'I wasn't sure if you'd like it. I was worried that it was insensitive.'

'No, it looks funny. I have to try and find some amusement in my condition or otherwise it'd be tragic.'

She had bought him a comedy book written by a werewolf. Remus had previously read other books by the author and he'd enjoyed them. He yawned again, unable to stop himself.

'How are you, Remus?' she asked. 'It doesn't look like you've recovered from the full moon yet.'

'I'm exhausted all the time and I've been getting headaches. The wolf has been more restless lately.'

Hermione looked concerned. 'That's not good.'

Remus appreciated her concern. She was about the only person who really seemed to care about him. She always knew when the full moon was and she usually sent a large package of Honeydukes' Milk Chocolate (his favourite) to help him recover.

'Don't worry about it,' he said simply.

'I can't help it Remus,' she said, hesitating for a moment. 'I've been researching werewolfism and the Wolfsbane potion lately… I want to develop it so that it eases the condition during non-transformation time as well.'

'How have you been doing that?'

'Well I've read just about every book on the subject in the school library and I've also spoken to Professor Snape about it. He's been helping me because he's intrigued by the idea.'

'Hermione you don't have to,' he said, thinking of many reasons why it wasn't a good idea. 'You're studying for your OWLs, you have enough on your plate.'

'I can manage,' she said and then smiled at him, 'don't you remember how many classes I was taking during my third year.'

'I do,' he said. 'You are an excellent student.'

'That didn't stop you giving me an Exceeds Expectations in my Defence exam, did it?' she said wryly.

He smiled at her apologetically. 'So what have you found out from your research so far?'

'Well Professor Snape has taught me how to make Wolfsbane Potion and now I understand exactly how it works and the underlying principles behind it. I'm planning on experimenting with it.'

Remus looked at her in amazement. 'Hermione that's amazing. The Wolfsbane Potion is well beyond NEWT level Potions.'

She blushed slightly. 'Thanks.' She rose from her seat. 'I'm going to make hot chocolate. Your body will be able to deal with your condition more effectively if you keep your blood sugar up.'

Remus leaned back in his chair and relaxed, appreciating the rare feeling of being looked after. He felt even closer to Hermione now and he felt lucky to have a friend such as her. His eyelids began closing and he fought to stay awake. The cosiness of the lounge and the warmth of friendship made him feel contented enough to actually fall into a healthy, natural sleep.

Reality nudged at Remus's consciousness and he felt himself beginning to awaken. He clung to the rapidly fading dream, desperate to remain in the world of his memories but it was no use. His eyes fluttered open and the dark forest slowly came into focus around him. He quickly shut them again, willing his dreams to return. He ignored the oppressive atmosphere of the forest that was closing in on him now that he was awake, concentrating intensely on Hermione's face, her smooth skin, her perfectly kissable lips, her big brown eyes and her wild brown hair. And, unbelievably, he managed what he had previously been unable to- he felt gentle slumber lapping at his consciousness like calm waves lapping at the shore and he gave into it, letting himself float away…

_July 1996_

'Harry!' Remus called, his voice cracking as he watched Harry tear away and chase after Bellatrix Lestrange who was cackling insanely, running into the Atrium of the Ministry of Magic.

Remus's eyes were involuntarily drawn to the veil in the centre of the room. He had just watched his friend disappear behind it. Sirius… was dead. He couldn't comprehend it. Remus shook his head to clear it and looked for the other members of the Order. Kingsley, Mad-Eye and Tonks were rounding up the Death Eaters, ready to deliver them to Azkaban.

'Professor Lupin, help!' Luna Lovegood's voice called from over the other side of the room.

She, Neville and Ron were gathered around Ginny who was slumped against the wall, pale and sweating, and Hermione, who was lying on the floor unmoving. Remus's blood ran cold as he ran over to them. He fell to his knees by Hermione's side and checked to see if she was alive.

'She's got a pulse, but it's weak,' Luna said simply as she batted Ron's hand away absent-mindedly.

There was something wrong with Ron. He had a huge inane grin on his face and his eyes were glazed over. He had been trying to play with Luna's hair. He stumbled and tripped over Ginny who winced and cried out in pain; Ron giggled hysterically. Luna and Neville helped Ron up. Luna looked completely fine but Neville had blood running from his nose.

'I need to know what's wrong with all of you,' Remus said, still kneeling by Hermione.

'I'm okay,' Luna said. 'But Neville broke his nose and I think Ginny has a broken ankle. Ron… was attacked by one of those floating brains and he's been like this ever since. I don't know what's wrong with him.'

'What about Hermione?' Remus's voice shook as he looked down at her.

'Dolohov hit her with a dark spell. I don't know what it was,' Luna explained.

Remus nodded and stroked Hermione's cheek, sweeping her hair out of her face. She showed no sign of injury but she wouldn't wake up.

'Remus, we need to go to St. Mungo's,' Ginny said with a gasp. 'Hermione… might die if we leave her like this.'

Remus looked up, alarmed. He tried to forget about Sirius. He tried to forget that his best friend was unconscious and seriously hurt. He took a deep breath and collected his thoughts. He was ready to take control of the situation. He conjured a stretcher and gently lifted Hermione onto it. He picked up a piece of rubble from the floor and transfigured it into a portkey.

Neville and Ginny held onto the rubble. Luna made sure Ron did as well. Finally, Remus held Hermione's hand; as soon as he touched the rubble, they were whisked away and landed just outside the entrance to St. Mungo's.

The Welcome Witch looked shocked when Remus trudged into the hospital with four injured people. She directed Ginny and Neville to the triage area, where broken bones were easily treated. Luna went with them, supporting Ginny as she hobbled along on one foot. A young, kindly-looking healer collected Ron and took him to the second floor.

'What's happened to her?' a healer, indicating the unconscious Hermione.

'She was hit by some dark magic. I'm not sure what spell it was.'

'Okay, follow me,' the healer said briskly.

The healer marched away and Remus followed, carefully levitating Hermione's stretcher alongside him. The healer led them to the fourth floor, to the department that dealt with spell damage. As soon as they entered, a small group of healers rushed forward and took control of the situation. They lifted Hermione onto a gurney and began working on her.

'Is she going to be okay?' Remus asked in a whisper.

'We'll do the best we can,' said the senior healer without looking up.

'I'm afraid you can't be in here,' said the healer who had led them to the fourth floor. 'You're welcome to visit the tearoom on the sixth floor and wait for news.'

Remus nodded woodenly, glancing at Hermione one last time before leaving. He sat alone in the tearoom, silent and glum, staring at his hands which were clasped in front of him on the table. The witch who worked there took pity on him and made him an extra large pot of tea and a plate of scones, free of charge.

After half an hour he had drunk the pot of tea and hadn't even touched the scones. The witch brought him more tea. Shortly, he was joined by Luna, Neville and Ginny.

'Are you okay?' he asked them when they sat at his table.

'Yeah, we're fine now,' Neville said. 'It didn't take long to fix our broken bones.'

'Where's Ron?' Ginny asked.

'He was taken to the second floor,' Remus replied.

Ginny nodded. 'I'll go and see him. Mum and Dad will be here soon anyway.'

She left and Remus, Luna and Neville sat in silence for a while.

'You should go back to Hogwarts,' Remus said to them after a few minutes. 'Here, this will take you there. Just make sure you see your heads of house and tell them you're back.' He handed them a napkin which he had just transfigured into a port key.

'Thanks, Remus,' Neville said quietly.

They both stood, about to leave, but Luna turned to Remus and said sincerely, 'Don't worry, Professor Lupin, Hermione will be fine.' She smiled dreamily and left with Neville.

After he finished the second pot, Remus felt like he couldn't possibly drink anymore tea. He decided that he'd go and wait right outside Hermione's room. He didn't care if it wasn't allowed; he just had to be there when she woke up.

The healers weren't happy with his presence but they didn't make him leave. He watched them work, willing Hermione to be ok. It was now almost three hours since they had arrived at St. Mungo's. He had been pacing outside Hermione's room when Mr and Mrs Weasley turned up. They told him that they were concerned about Hermione. Ron was going to be fine and he only needed to be kept in over night for observation. Exhausted, they left to go home and sleep.

Remus was exhausted as well but he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Besides, he didn't want to; he was going to be first person Hermione saw when she regained consciousness. He paced relentlessly for another few hours and finally, a healer came out and informed him that Hermione would be fine. He sagged in relief, the tension leaving his body.

'You can sit with her now,' the healer said. 'She might not wake up for a while, though.'

He went inside and sat in the chair next to her bed. She looked so small and pale lying there. He took her hand and it felt cold. She showed no signs of waking yet so he simply sat and watched her breathing.

After an hour, Remus was still holding her hand. His own hand was numb from lack of movement but he didn't want to let go of her. Her hand twitched slightly and her eyelids began to flutter. He squeezed her hand gently and she squeezed back. Slowly, her eyes open and she looked at him blearily.

'Remus,' she whispered, confused.

He gave her a wobbly smile and clutched her hand a little more tightly. 'You scared me,' he whispered.

'What happened?'

'You were hit by dark magic,' he explained quietly.

Hermione started to look more alert. 'What about the others?'

'Everyone's fine,' he said. 'Ron is being kept in for the night, and Neville and Ginny were healed and sent back to Hogwarts.'

Hermione nodded and then looked fearful. 'Did the Death Eaters get the prophecy?'

Remus shook his head. 'It's destroyed.'

'Can you help me sit up?' she asked. He propped up her pillows and lifted her into a sitting position. When she was settled again she said, 'Tell me everything.'

'Severus contacted us and Sirius and I realised what happened and that you were all in great danger. We and some of the other members of the Order rushed to the Ministry.'

'Then what happened?'

'We managed to capture all the Death Eaters except Bellatrix.'

'So everyone's okay?'

Remus face fell and he looked at Hermione sombrely. 'Sirius… didn't make it.'

Hermione looked shocked and then immediately started trying to get out of bed. The movement made her wince in pain but she didn't stop.

'Hermione, what are you doing?'

'I need to get back to Hogwarts to see Harry, he must be devastated.'

'You can't leave,' he said. 'You've had a serious injury.'

Hermione shrugged and continued trying to lift herself off the bed.

'Please stop,' Remus said gently. Hearing his tone, Hermione became still and allowed him to push her gently back down onto the bed. She looked at him with a sad expression.

'Poor Harry,' she said in a small voice.

Remus nodded and finally allowed himself to think of Sirius. He could hardly believe it had happened. He was upset by the thought of Sirius's miserable, unhappy life ending so badly. A tear slid down his cheek and more followed.

'Remus, come here,' Hermione said tenderly and he moved closer, allowing her to pull him into an embrace. His shoulders shook with the force of his grief. He laid his head on her shoulder and wept.

This time when the dream ended, he didn't come back to reality. Instead, another dream began but this one was further in time. Some part of him recognised which memory it was and he knew it had been one of the happiest times of his life. He smiled inwardly, completely content to relive his memories time and time again…

_August 1996_

'Ron, I know you're gangly but try not to flail your arms about so much,' Hermione said patiently. 'Or your spells will become inaccurate.'

Remus had just arrived at the Burrow. He was in the garden, watching Hermione, Harry and Ron as they practised duelling.

'Right,' Ron said in frustration. 'But this is like school. It's the summer holidays, Hermione. Can't we just have a bit of fun?'

'Ron, you know we need loads of practise with defensive magic,' she said. 'Besides, you've gotten really good at it.'

Ron smiled at her proudly. 'Well, let's start again then.'

'Stupefy!' shouted Hermione with very little warning.

Surprisingly, Ron managed to cast the shield charm with very little difficulty and Hermione's spell rebounded, nearly hitting Harry. Ron smirked at her.

None of them had seen Remus. Hermione and Harry were standing with their backs to him. They were all too engrossed in their duelling match.

'Careful, Ron,' said Harry jokingly, 'Don't strain yourself.'

Ron aimed a rude gesture in Harry's direction and was so distracted that he didn't see Hermione's well-aimed spell.

'Levicorpus!' she shouted and Ron was suddenly hoisted up in the air, yelling in surprise.

'You shouldn't turn your back on your opponent, Ronald,' Hermione said primly before using the counter-spell.

Ron fell unceremoniously to the ground in a rumpled heap, blushing furiously. Harry was doubled over in laughter and Hermione couldn't seem to keep the grin off her face. Ron scrambled to his feet and dusted off his clothes.

'Er, right, you have a go, Harry… I'll go and see if Mum wants any help with dinner.'

Ron quickly made his way back into the house, still blushing.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at Harry, who was still laughing. 'What?'

Harry shook his head. 'Poor Ron, he doesn't like making a fool of himself in front of you.'

'Why not?' Hermione asked.

'Oh come on, Hermione. Surely you've noticed that Ron's got a thing for you. He's fancied you since fourth year.'

Hermione looked as nonplussed as Remus felt but before she could say anything, Harry noticed that they were being observed.

'Remus!' he said happily. 'What are you doing here?'

Hermione turned around and beamed at him.

'Hi, Remus,' she said.

'Hi, Harry, Hermione. I'm just catching up on the Order news,' he explained. 'Molly and Arthur agreed to let Dumbledore make the Burrow the new headquarters. How are you both?'

'We're okay,' said Hermione glancing at Harry. 'What about you? You look well.'

'I am,' he said with his usual sincere smile. 'For some reason I feel different. This summer I've been feeling younger than I have in years.'

'Nice to see you, Remus,' said Harry. 'I'm going to find Ginny. I need to… tell her something.'

He smiled and left.

'Like we don't know what he's really going to do,' Hermione said, rolling her eyes.

'What do you mean?' Remus asked.

'Harry and Ginny have started going out together,' she explained.

Remus nodded and then there was a silence which they filled by simply looking at each other. Although it had only been a few weeks since he had last seen her, Hermione looked different. She was radiant. She was wearing a small, yellow sundress with white shoes and a white ribbon in her hair. Her hair was wild as usual and her brown eyes shone. She looked the epitome of summer happiness.

Also, Remus noticed, she seemed to have transitioned from a girl to a woman. She was slim but now she had a pair of small, perfect breasts and lovely curves. He was a bit taken aback. She had had her sixteenth birthday only a few weeks ago but it was as though she had developed fully into adulthood in that short time. Remus looked away, embarrassed by his inappropriate thoughts.

'So… how is your summer so far?' he asked.

'Good,' she said, smiling.

'Nice duelling by the way,' he said.

'Thanks,' she said. 'But maybe I could benefit from the tuition of an ex-Defence professor.'

'Hermione, you really don't need any help, your defensive skills are far beyond any seventh year.'

She smiled at the compliment but looked ever so slightly disappointed with his response.

Remus seemed to spend a lot of time around Hermione. Even though they were guests at the Burrow, they often offered to help Molly with the housework and she usually gave them tasks that they could complete together.

Harry and Ron played a lot of Quidditch with Ginny, Fred and George, so Remus often found himself alone with Hermione, walking round Ottery St. Catchpole or taking trips to Diagon Alley.

Every meal time, Remus and Hermione sat next to each other and Remus felt their friendship growing stronger and stronger until he thought that they couldn't get any closer than they currently were.

One night when Remus was suffering from insomnia he tiptoed to the bathroom, trying not to wake anyone up. On his way back to his room his enhanced werewolf hearing picked up the sound of voices coming from Ginny's room; she and Hermione were talking. He heard Ginny mention his name and, although he knew he shouldn't, he stopped to listen.

'I know I'm spending loads of time with him, Gin,' Hermione said. 'I did last summer, remember? We're very good friends and we have a lot in common.'

'Ah but last year you only had a crush on him,' Ginny said.

Remus raised his eyebrows and leaned closer to the door.

'What do you mean?' Hermione asked.

Ginny lowered her voice, but Remus still heard her clearly. 'You're in love with him, 'Mione.'

Hermione gasped and didn't say anything. Her lack of response was enough to confirm the truth to both Ginny and Remus.

'I've seen the way you look at him,' Ginny continued. 'It's like your world begins and ends with him. You're always laughing and smiling when he's around and you always find a way to be close to him or touch him.'

'Ok, Ginny,' Hermione said shakily. 'I guess I'm not surprised that you noticed but please tell me no one else has.'

'Don't worry, I'm the only one who knows your secret,' Ginny said.

'Good,' Hermione said. 'Don't tell anyone, especially Ron.'

'What are you going to do about it?' Ginny asked.

'I don't know,' Hermione admitted.

It was quiet for a few minutes and Remus thought that they must have gone to sleep. He was about to go back to his own room when he heard Hermione speak again.

'I'm in love with Remus Lupin,' she whispered happily.

Remus, feeling suddenly warm, his heart beating too fast, walked back to his room in a daze. He lay on his bed and looked up at the ceiling.

Hermione Granger… was in love with him. How was that possible? How could someone as beautiful, as pure as Hermione possibly love a monster like him?

Today his own feelings had become clear to him. Ever since the day at the Ministry of Magic, when he had thought Hermione had died, he had been unable to stop thinking about her. He went about his work for the Order, distracted by her and confused by his feelings. He suspected that he might be developing an attraction to her but today had confirmed it. Seeing Hermione smiling at him in the sunshine, wearing her little yellow sundress, he knew that he loved her.

He felt disgusted with himself, like he was a dirty old pervert. She was sixteen, barely an adult and he was twenty years older than her. It was wrong… but it felt right. Officially, Hermione was young but in reality she was mature far beyond her years. She was his intellectual equal. They liked and disliked all the same things. They made each other laugh and smile. Despite the supposed impossibility of their love, they were meant to be together.

Society wouldn't agree, however. Society wouldn't accept the love between a witch and a werewolf. Hermione would be judged and condemned by her friends and peers. If she loved him she would destroy herself and Remus couldn't let that happen, he simply couldn't.

A few days later, when Remus and Hermione asked if there was anything they could do to help Mrs Weasley, the witch asked if they would go shopping in Diagon Alley for the new school supplies and equipment. They agreed to go and Remus was looking forward to being alone with Hermione, but then became afraid of what would happen. At the last minute he asked if Harry, Ron and Ginny would like to accompany them.

They bought all their equipment and their new uniform first and Ron and Harry were soon bored.

'Come on, let's go to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes,' Ron said eagerly. 'I've been meaning to visit. Maybe Fred and George will give us free stuff!'

'Are you coming, Hermione?' Harry asked.

'In a while,' she replied. 'I'll just help Remus get the school books.'

Harry nodded. He linked his arm through Ginny's and they followed Ron down the street.

Remus swallowed nervously. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. But if they really only bought the books and then joined the others, maybe they would be fine.

He looked at Hermione. 'So, to Flourish and Blotts?'

'You know me too well,' said Hermione with a smile.

There was something intimate about the book shop that day that Remus hadn't noticed before. The shop was nearly empty of customers. It was very quiet and the tall bookshelves seemed to offer cover for certain… romantic activities.

'So what's on the list?' Hermione asked him.

He silently handed her the list and she began to browse the shelves. He followed her and watched as she face crinkled in concentration. When she found a book that she needed she handed it to him to hold. Sometimes a book was too high on the shelf for her to reach and he used his height to come to her rescue; he was amused and surprised by how tiny she was. He hadn't noticed before but there was a considerable height different between them. If he was to embrace her she would easily fit under his arm and he would be able to rest his chin on the top of her head. He blushed, suddenly realising what he was thinking about.

'I think that's everything,' Hermione said. 'Let's pay.'

There were so many books that the shop assistant had to put them in two large bags. Remus picked up the heavy bags with ease and Hermione seemed impressed by his strength.

'Shall we go and find the others now?' Remus asked when they stepped outside.

'Shall we go to the Leaky Cauldron and have a drink first?' Hermione suggested. 'I'm thirsty.'

'Ok,' Remus agreed, following her while worrying that a not at all unwanted romantic interlude was about to happen.

'What do you want to drink?' Remus asked when they got to the pub.

'Butterbeer please,' she said and walked off to find a table.

Remus bought the drinks and joined her at a little table in a cosy corner of the pub. He didn't know if he was imagining it, but everything seemed much more intimate when he was alone with Hermione.

'Thanks,' Hermione said, sipping her drink.

They were quiet for a moment.

'We-' Remus said.

'I-', Hermione started at the same time he spoke.

They both stopped talking and smiled at each other.

'You first,' Remus said. He had been intending to say that they shouldn't stay too long, or the others would wonder where they were.

'I was just going to say, remember when I told you I was researching werewolfism?'

'Yes?' he prompted with a nod.

'Well I think I've made a modified wolfsbane potion that will ease your condition outside of the full moon as well,' she said.

'That's great,' Remus said, impressed with her abilities but unenthusiastic about the success of it. He didn't doubt her; he just doubted that his condition could ever be better.

'It kind of works like the contraceptive pill that Muggle women take,' Hermione said. 'And actually, that's where I got the idea.'

Remus raised his eyebrows at her and she blushed.

'I- I just mean that it's similar in the way it works,' she explained quickly. 'You take the potion everyday for twenty one days of the lunar cycle and then you shouldn't have to take any during the last seven days of the cycle, including the night of the full moon.'

He nodded. 'And how will it affect me?'

'It will make you feel less exhausted because you'll be able to get a decent night's sleep. You shouldn't get any headaches or nausea. You won't be irritable or restless when the full moon approaches. And the best part is that the wolf part of you will be suppressed but you'll still have the benefit of your werewolf strength and heightened senses.'

'And what about during the full moon?' he asked.

'It will work exactly how the original wolfsbane potion works. You'll transform but you'll be an ordinary, harmless wolf, no danger to anyone.'

'Amazing,' Remus said, beaming at her. 'You're fantastic.'

Hermione beamed back at him. 'Do you want to try it?'

'Yes,' he said eagerly. 'When do I have to start taking it?'

'The day after the full moon, so we'll have to wait a few weeks yet,' she said.

'Ok,' he said, feeling happy until a sudden thought struck him. 'Wait. You'll have to brew three week's supply of this potion every month. You can't do that while studying for your NEWTs.'

'I can, Remus,' she said.

He shook his head. 'Don't worry about me. Think of yourself and your education. It's too important not to.'

'Remus,' she said gently, taking hold of his hand. 'I do worry about you because I care. I want to do this, I… need to. I'm scared that your condition will keep getting worse and one day I'll lose you. I can't… live in this world without you in it.'

Her voice had gotten quieter and quieter and when he looked at her he saw tears shining in her eyes. He stroked the back of her hand with his thumb.

'Ok,' he said resignedly. 'Do it. But if it starts to affect your studies you have to tell me.'

She agreed and then she slowly started to get back to her usual talkative self. She didn't, Remus noticed, let go of his hand and he did nothing to stop her. He simply sat, looking at his beautiful girl, smiling and chatting and laughing with her while they were connected by the simple intimacy of hand-holding.

* * *

**Please review! And if you happen to notice any mistakes (I don't have a beta reader) feel free to let me know. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the reviews! I really appreciate them. **

**This chapter consists of more of Remus's memories, I hope you're not getting bored of them.**

**Enjoy!**

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The silence of the forest was broken by wild growls and whimpers. Remus was familiar with the sound. Wolves were fighting nearby.

Remus bounded towards the noise. He soon came upon two hulking wolves, one dark grey and the other a deep ochre colour; both were quite a bit larger than himself. They were attacking a much smaller wolf, which Remus realised was a cub.

It was very rare for child werewolves to be found in the forest. In his travels, Remus had never come across one, yet here was one now. The cub cowered on the ground as the other werewolves savagely attacked him.

Remus launched himself into the fight, knocking the ochre wolf out of the way. The grey wolf turned and snarled at him. Remus realised that he wasn't a physical match for the wolves and that he'd have to use his superior agility and speed. He acted quickly. He leapt at the grey wolf, dodging his snapping jaws and sharp claws. He sunk his teeth into the wolf's neck and bit down. The wolf yelped and struggled, nearly throwing Remus off but Remus hung on with his jaws until he tasted the other wolf's blood. The wolf's struggles became feebler and a moment later he slumped to the floor, unconscious.

Without pause, Remus lunged at the ochre wolf, which scrambled to get away. Remus chased after him, snapping his jaws. Remus could have easily caught the wolf but he let him get away. He had just been trying to scare him so that he didn't return.

Remus turned around and ran the short distance back to the cub, finding him sitting on his haunches, licking his wounds.

'Are you alright?' Remus asked the cub telepathically, the way he had learned to communicate here.

'Yes, thank you,' replied the cub.

'You're welcome,' said Remus, sitting down next to the cub. 'Why were they attacking you?'

'I threatened the Duke,' the cub explained. 'I confronted him because he was the one who turned me into a werewolf when I was alive.'

Remus felt surprised. The cub was either very brave or very foolish. The Duke was a powerful werewolf here, who, unlike almost all other wolves who wandered the forest alone, had established a sort of pack with himself as the Alpha wolf. The arrogantly self-named Duke saw himself as ruler of the forest but Remus didn't understand what he was trying to achieve. What was the point of ruling the land of the dead?

'I'd advise you steer clear of him,' Remus said.

The cub gave the telepathic equivalent of a nod. 'I'm Joseph. What's your name?'

'Remus,' he replied as he stood up. 'I need to leave. I'm tired.'

'Then I'll come with you,' Joseph said, standing up and preparing to follow.

'I don't think that's a good idea,' said Remus. 'The Duke will think I'm starting my own pack to compete with his.'

'But what about if those wolves attack me again?' Joseph asked.

'Climb a tree?' Remus suggested. 'Most wolves can't, especially the big ones.'

'I don't know how,' said Joseph.

'I'll teach you,' Remus offered. 'But then we have to part ways. Understand?'

'Okay,' Joseph said contentedly.

'Let's find somewhere to sleep,' Remus said, leading the cub away.

Remus was weary from the energy he had expended fighting off the wolves. He was in a strange place. He got tired and needed sleep and he bled if he was injured, but he didn't need to eat or drink. He didn't understand it.

Remus led the cub to one of the parts of the forest that he frequented most. He lay down and the cub curled up close by. Remus closed his eyes and happily gave himself up to his dreams.

_December 1996_

'You have to tell him, Hermione,' Ginny said from the kitchen of the Burrow.

'Why?' Hermione asked. 'I'll be going to back to Hogwarts soon and then we won't see each other much.'

'That's all the more reason for you to tell him,' Ginny reasoned. 'So you can make the most of your time together.'

Once again, Remus found himself inadvertently eavesdropping on Hermione and Ginny's conversation (one that just so happened to be about him). He had been headed to kitchen to refill his butterbeer when he realised that the girls were talking about. He couldn't just pretend to happen upon them because he had been studiously avoiding Hermione all day. He felt like it would be awkward now if there were forced to acknowledge each other.

It was Christmas Eve and the Weasleys and their guests were gathered at the Burrow. As usual, Harry and Hermione were there, and Arthur had also invited Remus and Kingsley for a day of festivities. They had had their enormous Christmas Eve dinner and now they were watching the firework display that Fred and George were putting on in the garden. Well, nearly everyone, except Hermione, Ginny and himself.

Remus stood awkwardly outside the kitchen door, feeling uneasy about listening in on the conversation. He knew he should leave but he couldn't bring himself to move.

'I know,' Hermione said. 'But I don't know if he feels the same way.'

'He _does_,' Ginny said. 'Believe me. He's obviously so besotted with you.'

'He is? Really?'

'_Yeah_,' Ginny said, sounding exasperated. 'Hermione you're the cleverest person I know but you can be really slow when it comes to relationships.'

'I just don't want to mess anything up,' Hermione said seriously.

'What is there to mess up?' Ginny said with a laugh. 'You're a woman. He's a man. You like him. He likes you. Wait… you really do love him don't you?'

'Yes,' Hermione admitted quietly. 'I fall more and more in love with him everyday. He's all I think about and he's the only man I can imagine being with. I mean, I know some boys at Hogwarts might be interested in me but… I don't even look at them when there's Remus.'

Remus was blushing for the entire time that Hermione was speaking. He loved hearing her talk about her feelings for him but he was embarrassed that she was pouring her heart out, unaware that another person, in fact, the very person she was talking about, was secretly listening.

Ginny whistled through her teeth. 'You've got it bad, 'Mione.'

'I know,' Hermione agreed. There was silence for a moment and then she took a deep breath. 'You'd better go back to Harry, he'll be wondering where you are.'

Remus moved quickly away from the kitchen before he was caught. He went to stand by the open door, trying to act normally by gazing out at the purple, green and blue fireworks whizzing through the night sky. Less than a minute later, Ginny passed him on her way back outside.

'Hello, Remus,' she said with a wink.

He stood cooling down in the cold December air for another few minutes until Hermione emerged from the kitchen. As soon as she saw him standing there she approached him.

'Enjoying the show, Remus?' Hermione asked as she came to stand beside him.

He nodded. 'Fred and George certainly are talented.'

'Yes, they are,' she agreed simply.

'So are you,' he said, turning to face her. 'Only you could have succeeded in doing what you did with the wolfsbane potion.'

'It was nothing,' Hermione said.

'No, it wasn't nothing,' Remus said, pausing for a moment while looking into her eyes. 'You saved my life, Hermione.'

Hermione frowned. 'What do you mean?'

'I was dying, Hermione,' he said, watching as her expression became stricken. 'Do you know how long the life expectancy of a werewolf is? Well, it's not long, about fifty years. The condition takes its toll, you see. And before you started giving me the Wolfsbane potion, I was in a bad way. Worse than I had you believe. I could feel myself getting weaker. I didn't have long left. But you changed all that.'

Hermione's eyes filled with tears and Remus took her small hand in his to comfort her.

'You're not dying now?' she said, sounding as those she choked on the words.

'No. I went to see a werewolf specialist at St. Mungo's,' he explained. 'He did lots of tests on me and he discovered that I'm almost completely healthy. He told me that my life expectancy is the same as it is for wizards.'

'What is the life expectancy for wizards?' she asked.

'About 150 years,' he said.

There was quiet for a moment as Remus looked at her, waiting for the news to sink in. They were standing so very close together. If he leaned his head down now, he would be kissing her.

'I could have lost you,' Hermione said with a cry, and this time the tears fell, splashing onto her cheeks.

Remus shook his head. 'You didn't lose me, you saved me. Thank you so much, Hermione. Don't cry.' He pulled her into an embrace.

Hermione buried her face in his jumper and she let the tears fall. Remus held her gently against him, his arms around her, his head resting on hers. He felt her shoulders shaking as she wept and he listened to her quiet little sniffles as she tried in vain to stop crying.

After a few minutes, Hermione was calm and still. Her breathing eventually went back to normal. She spoke but her voice was muffled because her head was still resting on his chest.

'What did you say, sweetheart?' Remus asked gently.

She pulled away enough so that she could look up into his eyes. 'I love you,' she said simply.

Remus was silent as he gazed at her. His heart began to thud and his own breathing quickened. He felt as though Fred and George's fireworks were actually going off inside his head.

'I know you probably wouldn't look twice at me. I know I'm probably too young for you. But I love you. And I'm tired of keeping it from you. There's a war on and we're both targets. We support Harry and Dumbledore. You're a werewolf, I'm a Muggle-born. There's a good chance we both might die, so you need to know. It doesn't matter if you don't feel the same way, it just matters that you know. I love you, Remus and -'

'I love you too,' Remus said, interrupting her. 'I've never loved anyone in my life like I love you.'

Hermione began to smile. She was gazing at him intently and Remus had a feeling he knew what was about to happen. She closed the gap between them and slowly began moving her head closer to his.

Remus looked down at her, his heart racing. She looked so welcoming, her lips so warm and soft. All he had to do was lean down. It was easy. If he only leaned his head towards her he would be kissing her. Hermione. The girl of his dreams. He closed his eyes…

'We can't,' Remus whispered.

Hermione stared at him and moved back a step, hurt showing in her eyes.

'This is wrong,' he said, his voice shaking. 'You're so young. I was your teacher. I am a werewolf.'

'But, Remus, I love you.'

'I'm sorry,' he said in an agonised voice, watching as she quickly ran out of the room.

Later that night, Remus lay in the bed in the guest room of the Burrow, unable to sleep. He kept visualising Hermione's face as he rejected her. He felt sick thinking that he'd made a mistake that he couldn't put right. He wasn't sure if it was his enhanced werewolf senses or because he was more attuned to Hermione, but he could hear her quiet sobs. As he listened, a single tear of his own fell onto his cheek and landed on his pillow.

The gloom of the forest encroached on Remus's consciousness but he stubbornly kept his eyes shut. A small part of him knew he should awaken. He was telepathically aware of the little cub lying nearby and he was also aware of the danger they were in if they weren't alert. Those huge wolves could find them at any moment or worse- the Duke. But a larger, more powerful part him couldn't bear to let the Hermione of his memories go again.

So Remus focused fully on her once again. He focused on her smile, her laugh, the happiness shining in her eyes. Hermione. _Hermione, Hermione, Hermione_. And it worked. Gradually, the surrounding gloom retreated and he fell, once again, into another dream…

_June 1997_

As Remus expertly duelled with Amycus Carrow, he saw a flash of wild brown hair as Hermione rushed past him with Ron. He hated seeing her in battle. She could get hurt. The Death Eaters would target her because of her blood status. Greyback was here and he loved young girls. He knew he had to get her out of there. He quickly stunned Carrow and turned to find Hermione, watching her successfully disarm Rowle.

He was about to rush over to her when he was knocked off his feet by an intense wave of pain that seemed to strike his entire body all at once. He screamed in agony, feeling as though his skeleton was on fire. He managed to turn his head, and saw Yaxley with his wand pointed at him. The pain had only begun to subside and then the Death Eater cast the Cruciatus Curse on him again. His body began to convulse and he went blind. The torture went on and on and seemed without end. He lost the ability to scream, so all he could do was writhe on the ground and wait for death.

Remus felt himself losing consciousness. He almost smiled, welcoming oblivion. The pain was so much now that it was almost as if it had stopped. Maybe his body was so damaged that he couldn't feel the agony anymore. Above all the shouts of spells, he heard someone screaming his name. He wondered who it was. He felt water dripping onto him. Was it starting to rain? He found he didn't care. He let go…

'He was lucky,' said a voice. 'If he had been tortured any longer we would have lost him.'

The voice was female, brisk and efficient but it also seemed kind. Another female responded to the first, but he couldn't make out what she said.

'Yes, of course you can sit with him, dear,' the first female voice said. 'But please put on one of these blankets, you're shaking.'

It was quiet now. From what he had heard, Remus knew that the brisk woman had gone. The other, quieter woman had moved closer to him. He could sense her presence but he couldn't hear her.

He wondered what was going on. He knew he should open his eyes and find out, but they felt so heavy. He lay completely still and focused all his strength on forcing his eyelids open. After a tremendous effort, he managed it and the first thing he saw was Hermione, who was sitting on a chair by his bed and gazing out of the window.

His eyesight was bleary at first but it soon cleared. She looked bedraggled. Her hair was even messier than usual and her clothes were torn in places. Her shoulders slumped with exhaustion. She was pale and her eyes were red and puffy.

'Thank Merlin you're okay,' Remus said, discovering that his voice was hoarse.

When she heard him speak she quickly turned to face him. 'Remus,' she whispered.

She moved her chair closer to his bed. She reached over and stroked his cheek. Remus removed her hand from his face and clasped it tightly.

'The battle's over?' he asked.

She nodded in confirmation.

'Were there are casualties?'

She nodded and her expression became grim. 'Dumbledore.'

'Dumbledore?' he repeated, shocked.

Hermione nodded again and there was a moment of silence.

'Tell me what happened,' he said.

She related the whole battle, struggling to describe what it was like when she saw him fall. It turned out that she was the one who stunned Yaxley, saving his life.

'What went wrong, Remus? You're so good at duelling.'

'I was distracted, worrying about you, and I didn't see Yaxley.'

She raised her eyebrows at him. 'You didn't have to worry about me. Harry gave me, Ron and Ginny the rest of his Felix Felicis. The curses just bounced away from us. We were safe.'

Remus looked relieved. 'I'm glad.'

'Remus you can't worry about me every time there's a battle, even if I haven't taken liquid luck. I'm perfectly capable of defending myself. You were so distracted that you got hurt.'

'I'm sorry,' Remus said, seeing the pain in her eyes.

'Y-you could have died,' Hermione said, close to tears.

'But I didn't,' he said firmly.

'Yes but you were tortured. Madam Pomfrey said that if you had been subjected to the Cruciatus Curse any longer you really would have died.'

'Then I'm lucky you were there,' he said. 'Thank you, for saving me.'

She nodded. They both became quiet for a while, but Remus didn't let go of her hand.

He thought about Hermione and how deep her feelings for him went. She both puzzled and delighted him. It was almost too good to be true.

'Why do you care so much about me?' he asked, breaking the silence.

She gaped at him, looking as though she had misheard him.

'Remus, I love you,' she said, speaking the words with so much sincerity that her eyes shone.

'You shouldn't,' he said simply.

'It's not something I can control.'

'I'm no good for you,' he said, trying to keep his voice gentle, but realising that his words were still hurting her. 'I'm too poor, too old, too dangerous.'

'You know I don't care about money,' she insisted. 'And I don't care about the age gap. I know I'm meant to be with you, Remus.'

'You're not,' he said. 'There is one very good reason why you shouldn't be with me: I'm a werewolf.'

'That doesn't matter to me.'

'It should,' he said firmly.

'Bill Weasley was mauled by Greyback tonight. He could develop werewolf characteristics but Fleur still loves him.' She looked at him accusingly.

'That's different.'

'How?'

Hermione looked away from him and gazed out of the window again. He didn't know how to answer her.

'I could hurt you, Hermione,' he said after a while, using his head to try and think of logical arguments against their relationship while his heart yearned to be with her. 'I could kill you. I could even make you like me, is that what you want?'

She turned to look at him again. 'It wouldn't happen, though, especially since I've been making you the wolfsbane potion. And even if you didn't have that, it still wouldn't happen, I know it.'

'Ok, fine, let's just pretend for a moment that it's impossible for me to hurt you, have you really thought about what it'll be like to be with a werewolf? You'll be shunned by society. You won't be able to get a job. I won't be able to marry you or give you any children.'

'I don't care; being with you is worth it. I'll give up everything for you.'

Remus fell back onto his pillow, exhausted. He couldn't argue anymore. And he couldn't keep fighting the part of him that wanted her. He looked at her and saw the sincerity and the seriousness in her eyes. She was hopeful, but she was also scared. He knew she feared that he would reject her again.

'Come here, Hermione,' he whispered, and he shifted over on the bed to make room for her. He pulled back the covers and she climbed in next to him. He put his arms around her and drew her to him. 'I love you.'

'I love you, too,' she whispered back.

He was quiet for a moment as he breathed in the scent of her hair and listened to her steady heartbeat.

'Are you sure you love me?' he asked slowly. 'Are you certain you want to be with me?'

'Yes,' she said immediately.

He paused for a moment and then nodded. 'Ok, we can try and be together, but not until you've graduated Hogwarts.'

'Ok,' she agreed, and settled against him more comfortably.

* * *

**Reviews are nice! By the way, I've made a banner for this story. Check out my profile for a link to it. I'm afraid it's not terribly good, I'm kind of crap at making them. If you'd like to make a banner for this story, feel free, but please let me know because I'd really like to see it :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello everyone, here is chapter five, sorry, it's a long one again. I don't know if you prefer long or short chapters. Personally, when I'm following a story, I like long chapters!**

**Thank you for your reviews, they really encourage me especially when I have doubts about my writing. Also, thank you to everyone who is following this story. I'm surprised and pleased by the response to this story.**

* * *

_August 1997_

Remus shifted restlessly in his chair. The wedding was dragging on. Bill and Fleur were good friends of his but he wished they would hurry up and exchange vows so that he could get out of here. If he continued watching Hermione like this, someone would notice and think he was an old pervert.

Hermione was standing with Ginny and Gabrielle, the other bridesmaids. Remus wished that Fleur hadn't chosen a dress that made Hermione look so completely stunning. He couldn't take his eyes off her. Her dress was a lovely shade of powder blue and the bodice looked like it would be silky to the touch. The skirt part was made from a floaty material that was arranged in ruffled tiers becoming a darker shade of blue the further down the dress it went.

Her hair was equally as lovely. It seemed a lot less wild than usual as most of it was tied up in an elegant knot at the back of her head. The front sections, however, were loose and styled into waves that framed her face. She also wore an artificial blue flower on the right side of her head.

Remus thought Hermione always looked beautiful, but today she was different. Today she was breathtaking. He noticed that many of the other young men must agree with him because they couldn't stop staring at her, especially Ron and Viktor Krum. Remus felt a flash of possessiveness, which he immediately tried to suppress.

The other wedding guests began to clap, and Remus realised that Bill and Fleur had just kissed and the wedding was over. The bride and groom were about to sign the wedding register with their witnesses, and everyone else began to stand and leave their seats to wait outside. As he walked, Remus found himself being engaged in conversation by Xeno Lovegood, but he could hardly concentrate on his footsteps, let alone what the eccentric man was saying.

They had gone through the traditional formalities of the wedding photographs, the wedding dinner and the speeches and now the golden-jacketed band had started to play. Only Hermione, Viktor Krum and Remus were still sitting at the table. Harry was talking to Muriel and Elphias Doge; Fred and George were trying to chat up Fleur's Veela cousins; Tonks was at the bar with Charlie Weasley and Luna and her father were currently making a spectacle of themselves on the dance floor.

For what was the hundredth time that evening, Remus glanced over at Hermione. He knew he had caught her eye because she looked up at him and gave him a little smile. He wanted to ask her to dance but he knew that if they did, they might not be able to hide their love for one another. He contented himself with simply watching her.

Krum stood up and approached Hermione. She looked and smiled when she saw him.

'Vould you like to dance vith me?'

Remus glared at Krum, wanting to drag him bodily from the tent and well away from Hermione.

'No, thanks, Viktor,' Hermione replied politely.

Krum nodded. 'It is good to see you, Hermy-oh-ninny.'

Remus smirked as the sullen Quidditch player mispronounced her name.

'Er, you too, Viktor,' she said and then began to get up. 'If you'll excuse me, I need to talk to Harry.'

She was about to turn away but before she did, Viktor took hold of her hand and lifted it to his mouth, where he placed a kiss upon it. Remus clenched his jaw in irritation. Hermione gently pulled her hand away from Viktor, gave him a small smile and walked away. Krum walked back to the table and sat back down.

'She is a special girl,' Viktor said with a sigh.

Remus looked around, expecting to see someone else before realising that the Bulgarian was speaking to him.

'Yes, she is,' he said a little forcefully.

Krum didn't seem to notice, he was too busy watching Hermione talking to Harry.

'Do you know her?' Krum asked, looking at him expectantly.

'Yes, I was her teacher but we've been good friends for years,' Remus explained, wishing he could tell the younger man that Hermione was his.

'How is she?'

'She's fine,' Remus said, clenching his jaw again. He didn't want to talk about Hermione with a man who was clearly interested in her.

Krum paused for a moment. 'Is she seeing anyone, do you know?'

'Yes, she is,' Remus said without thinking.

Krum looked disappointed. 'Oh. Who is he?'

'You wouldn't know him,' Remus said evasively. 'But it's serious between the two of them.'

Krum nodded. 'I understand.' He finished his drink and then stood up. 'Maybe one of Fleur's Veela cousins is available.'

Remus watched him walk away, satisfied that he wasn't going to be pawing Hermione anymore. Remus felt awkward, sitting alone on a table that seated ten so he reluctantly got up, intending to go to the bar and get another Firewhiskey.

'Remus, can I talk to you for a minute?' Ginny asked.

She had just finished dancing with Harry and looked flushed but happy.

He nodded. 'Have you seen Hermione?' he had to shout over the music.

'She's out by the pond,' Ginny said. 'But I need to talk to you about her.'

'Why, what's wrong?'

Ginny shook her head. 'Come on, let's go back to the house, it's too noisy to talk here.'

He followed her out of the marquee, through the garden and into the Burrow and stopped when he was in the kitchen.

'What's wrong?' he asked again.

'I think Harry, Ron and Hermione are planning something,' Ginny said. 'Has she said anything to you?'

'No,' he said. 'What do you mean, planning something?'

'Well ever since Harry and Hermione got here, the three of them have been holed up in Ron's room, being really secretive. Mum suspects they're thinking of running away.'

'Running away?'

Ginny nodded. 'Harry said that Dumbledore gave him a task to complete, but he wouldn't tell me anymore about it.'

Remus frowned. 'Harry should tell the Order, we can help him.'

'Harry said Dumbledore trusted him to only tell Ron and Hermione. But I'm worried, Remus. I don't want them running off alone, not now You-Know-Who is so powerful.'

Remus nodded and began to feel concerned. 'I'll talk to Hermione about it.'

He was about to turn away but Ginny laid her hand on his arm, stopping him.

'Don't let her go, Remus. You'll lose her if you do. Apart from Harry, Muggle-borns are in the most danger now.'

Ginny left the house and went back to marquee. Remus walked out of the garden but instead of following her, he walked round the house and started on the road to Ottery St. Catchpole before turning off and following the little grassy path that led to the pond that he knew Hermione was fond of.

She was sitting cross-legged on the grass at the edge of the pond, gazing into the water. She seemed to have forgotten that she was wearing a dress- or she didn't care that the grass might stain it. He approached her and she looked around when she saw his reflection in the pond.

'What are you doing, sweetheart?' he asked, feeling as though he needed to speak softly.

'Just thinking,' she said vaguely. 'Why don't you sit with me?'

He sat down on the grass next to her. He took off his shoes and socks and rolled up his trouser legs so that he could dangle his feet in the pond.

'Ah that's better,' he sighed, feeling the cool water lapping at his ankles. 'Werewolves run hot. It's like the wolf causes a permanent fever.'

She nodded but didn't say anything.

'So what are you thinking about?' he asked.

'Oh… everything. You and me. The war.' She turned and faced him. 'Remus… Harry, Ron and I might have to leave soon.'

He nodded. 'Molly and Ginny thought as much.'

'Harry has something important to do for Dumbledore,' she explained, 'and, well, he needs us.'

'Why didn't you talk to me about it?'

She sighed. 'Because I thought you'd try to stop me going. I'm not asking for your permission, Remus. I have to do this.'

'Do you realise how dangerous it's going to be? For all of you, but especially you. You're a Muggle-born and you're one of the closest people to Harry Potter. Voldemort is going to be very interested in capturing you… or killing you.'

'I realise that,' she admitted. 'But Harry has no choice. He has to carry his burden alone and it's not fair. The least I can do is help him.'

'Harry could have help,' Remus insisted. 'He could have all the help the Order will provide, if only he asked for it.'

'Dumbledore made him swear to only tell me and Ron,' she said.

'I don't want you to go,' he said quietly.

'I'm sorry, Remus, but I have to. It's not just about helping Harry. It's about doing what's right. How can I stand by and let Voldemort torture and kill Muggle-borns? Not when there's something I can do about it.'

He gave her a lopsided smile. 'You're a true Gryffindor.'

'Thanks,' she said, smiling slightly.

'Will you let me know when you're planning to leave though?' he asked.

She reached over and held his hand. 'Of course I will.'

They sat in silence for a few minutes, holding hands and looking up at the moon.

'Why does it feel like I'm losing you?' he whispered.

'I can't pretend that you won't,' she whispered, giving him a look filled with sadness. 'You might. There's a war on. And Harry, Ron and I… we're going after V-voldemort. I don't know what's going to happen.'

There was silence for a moment. Remus found a small pebble on the grass and dropped it into the pond. They watched as it made a splash and then sank to the bottom.

'Hermione, I can't stay here, waiting for you to come back to me and not knowing if you ever will.'

She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them again, her brown eyes capturing his. 'Then don't. I know I can't ask you to wait for me. So… move on, live your life. Smile and laugh and love.' She looked as though a Dementor had stolen every last drop of happiness from her. She slowly turned and began to walk away.

Remus simply stood and watched her, shocked about what she had said. He had intended to speak to her in the hopes of convincing her to stay and now… she was still leaving and she was breaking his heart. His chest aching, he turned away and began to walk in the opposite direction to the one she had gone. He had only moved a few steps when he heard her.

'Oh, who am I kidding,' she said. 'Wait! Remus.'

He turned around and saw her running towards him, holding up her dress in one hand so that it didn't drag on the grass, her wavy brown hair streaming behind her. He looked into her eyes and this time, instead of sadness, he saw love and hope.

She crashed into his arms and as he pulled her closer, she put her hands on either side of his face and drew it down to hers until their lips met.

It was the most perfect kiss he'd ever experienced, Remus thought as he responded to her. He felt as though, ever since they first met, they had always been heading for this moment. He imagined it so many times, in so many different ways and they were all a pale comparison to the reality of this kiss. Her lips were warm and soft and he could taste the sweetness of the butterbeer that she had been drinking at the wedding reception. He could hear her pulse quicken and her heart racing in her chest. He could smell her shampoo and the perfume she used blending into a heady scent. She overwhelmed his senses until she was all he knew, all he could think about. It was only him and her. Time stopped and the rest of the world fell away. And it was perfect.

A happy, satisfied little noise escaped her and she wound her arms around his neck. He wrapped one arm around her, pulling her even closer and he tangled his other hand in her hair. They remained locked in this romantic, intimate moment until his mind swam with love and happiness.

After what felt like both seconds and centuries, they broke apart. Hermione moved back ever so slightly, just enough so that she could gaze up into his eyes. She smiled a smile he had never seen before on her. It was a smile he and his love for her had created.

'Well, this changes things,' Remus whispered.

'Yes, it does,' she agreed contentedly.

'I'm so glad you didn't walk away,' he said.

'So am I,' she said with a smile. 'I love you, Remus.'

'I love you too.'

He drew her into another embrace. She rested her head against his chest and he rested his on the top of her head.

'I'm not going to change my mind, Remus,' she said tentatively. 'I'm still leaving with Harry and Ron.'

'I know,' he said with a slight sigh. 'And I understand. I'm not going to stop you. You have to do this.'

'Thank you,' she whispered.

'I love you and you love me, and that's all that matters,' he murmured. 'For now.'

They stood in silence, embracing each other while the moon shone down upon them. Eventually Remus reluctantly let go of her and began to lead them back to the Burrow.

'Come on, we'd better get back to the wedding or people will start to wonder where we are.'

She nodded. 'Oh and when we get back there, we're going to dance,' she said with a smile. 'I know you aren't fond of it, but you're not escaping that easily.'

'Your wish is my command,' he said with a smile.

'Hermione, where have you been?' Ron asked when they got back to the marquee. 'Fleur and Bill are about to leave but they didn't want to go without thanking the bridesmaids.'

'Oh, I just went for a little wander,' Hermione said evasively.

'I'm going to get another drink,' Remus said to her, briefly resting his hand on the small of her back, the smallest touch a reminder of what had taken place at the pond.

Remus walked back over to the bar where Hagrid was standing with an enormous glass of mead.

'Hello, Remus,' Hagrid said cheerily.

'Hello, Hagrid,' he replied. 'Enjoying yourself?'

'Yeh, I love weddings and I don' mind admittin tha' they make me a tad weepy,' Hagrid said.

Remus nodded. 'Have you-'

He had been about to ask if Hagrid knew anything about the decision to appoint a new headmaster of Hogwarts but was interrupted by the sudden stopping of the music and gasps of people all around the marquee. He looked around and noticed a glowing silvery white patronus in the middle of the room. The patronus took the form of a lynx, which meant that it had come from Kingsley.

'Ministry fallen,' said the deep smooth tones of Kingsley. 'Minister of magic dead. They are coming.'

The wedding guests began to look stricken as the last words echoed spookily around the marquee. Loud explosions could be heard from outside. It was the sound of Death Eaters breaking the protection charms that had been placed on the Burrow. Not long after, the masked, hooded figures began apparating into the marquee in clouds of dense black fog. They immediately began firing spells, attempting to destroy everything and kill everyone they could. People screamed and immediately began apparating away. Some began to fight back, firing their own spells at the Death Eaters. Quite a few people were struck down and Remus couldn't tell if they were alive or dead.

Remus drew his own wand and managed to stun three Death Eaters in quick succession. He frantically searched for Hermione in the chaos, fearing that she had been hurt. But then he saw her standing over the other side of the marquee, clutching Ron's arm. At least she was okay.

But then she and Ron stumbled over to Harry. And as soon they reached him, he grabbed hold of both of their arms. Hermione searched the now smouldering marquee, until her eyes found his. She looked at him helplessly and seemed to be pleading with him to understand.

'I love you,' she mouthed, a split second before Harry apparated the trio away.

Remus stood on the spot, his wand arm dangling by his side and ignored the carnage going on around him as the sudden shock of Hermione's departure hit him like the stunning spell. It was so quick he thought he had imagined it. But she had been standing only yards away from him. She had looked into his eyes and she had told him she loved him. And then she had gone.

Remus heard the sound of distant cries of pain and fear, and then a girl screaming his name. This was enough to bring him back to the reality of the situation he was in.

'Remus!' the girl screamed again.

He looked around and saw Ginny and Luna had been apprehended by two tall Death Eaters, who were dragging the girls roughly out of the marquee. He ran after them and raised his wand, pointing at one of the Death Eaters.

'Stupefy!' Remus shouted and one Death Eater fell to the floor. Ginny stumbled and Remus reached out and steadied her with a hand on the shoulder.

He tried to stun the other Death Eater but as he cast the spell, his arm was knocked by another falling Death Eater and he missed. His target carried on running, dragging Luna behind him.

'No!' shouted Xeno, racing to get to his daughter. 'Not my Luna!'

The Death Eater stopped and turned around suddenly. He laughed as he watched Xeno and then he quickly disapparated, taking Luna with him. Luna's father screamed in anguish and fell to his knees close to the spot where his daughter had been a second ago.

Remus turned to Ginny and she looked at him aghast, her expression mirroring his own.

'Are you alright?' he asked Ginny after a moment.

'Yeah, I'm fine,' she replied, rubbing her wrist where the Death Eater had grasped it. 'I'm just going to have a bruise in the morning.'

He nodded, watching Xenophilius sob loudly.

'We should go back and help,' he said, indicating the battle still going on in the marquee.

'Where's Harry?' Ginny asked.

'He's gone,' he replied. 'He just disapparated. And he took Ron and Hermione with him.'

Ginny looked agonised for a second, but she seemed to shake it off. She nodded. 'Good. I'm glad he got away. We should go, Remus.'

She marched briskly back into the marquee and he followed her, suddenly becoming aware of an ache in his chest, an ache caused by his separation from the girl he loved.

* * *

Remus apparated very precisely on the top step of Grimmauld Place. If he had apparated even one step below, the Death Eaters watching the house would have seen him. It was nice to know that his apparition skills were still up to scratch.

He knocked quietly on the front door. He stood there for a few minutes and nothing happened. They were probably too scared to open the door. But then he heard it being unlocked and it slowly began to open.

Harry cautiously poked his head round the door and appraised him. Ron and Hermione appeared in the hallway and broke into smiles when they saw it was him.

'Remus, come in, mate,' Ron said.

'Wait,' said Harry quickly, putting himself in the doorway to stop him from entering. 'What form does your patronus take?'

'A wolf,' Remus replied immediately. 'But I always cast an incorporeal patronus to disguise the fact that I'm a werewolf.'

Harry nodded and moved out of the way. Remus stepped into the dingy hallway and Harry shut the front door and locked them safely inside.

'Sorry,' Harry said with a shrug.

'No, it was very good thinking, Harry,' Remus said. 'You were right to check if I was an imposter. You two shouldn't be so quick to trust.' He looked at Ron and Hermione, who nodded.

'What happened at the wedding, Remus, is everyone okay?' Harry asked immediately.

'I'll tell you everything, in good time,' he said, taking off his light brown jacket.

'Let's go into the lounge,' Hermione suggested.

'I'll make tea,' Ron said, happy to be kept busy.

Harry settled into the armchair that had once been Sirius's favourite perch. Remus sat on the old sofa and Hermione sat next to him, closer than was appropriate considering that they weren't alone. But he didn't say anything or move away. He wanted to be close to her.

'Did you come here straight after the attack?' Remus asked Harry.

'No, I apparated us to a random location in Muggle London first, while we decided what to do. We were attacked by Death Eaters.'

'How did they find us?' Hermione asked. 'Is it because I'm not seventeen yet? Can they trace me?'

Remus shook his head. 'No. You could be traced, Hermione, but Kingsley and I put a block on that to protect you. As soon as you're seventeen, you can't be traced, regardless of the block.' He glanced at Harry. 'The only way they could have found you is through the taboo.'

'Taboo?' Hermione said.

'They've placed a curse on You-Know-Who's name,' Remus explained. 'The Death Eaters know that only his enemies, and only those brave enough to stand against him, will speak his name. So be careful, both of you.'

Ron bustled in with a tray of tea and biscuits arranged nicely on a plate.

Harry stared at him as he'd gone mad.

'What?' said Ron, a blush forming on his cheeks. 'You always make tea when you have visitors.' He quickly sat down next to Hermione and stuffed a biscuit in his mouth.

'What are you planning to do, Harry?' Remus asked as he sipped his tea.

Harry shook his head. 'I can't tell you that, Remus, I'm sorry. Dumbledore made me promise not to tell anyone except Ron and Hermione. I'm not supposed to tell the Order or anyone else.'

'The Order doesn't have to know,' Remus replied. 'I'm working alone on this. Wherever you're going, I could come with you. I could be useful to you. I have a lot of knowledge and my defensive magic skills are good.'

'And how are we going to manage your transformations every month?' Harry asked.

Remus looked at Hermione, who spoke. 'I've brewed a year's supply of the Wolfsbane potion. It's upstairs in my bag, I need to give it to you.'

She had never brewed that much of the potion before. Remus realised that she must have been planning their departure for a while. And that she must be expecting to be away for a long time.

'Will you accept my offer of help?' Remus asked Harry.

'I'm sorry, Remus, I wish I could but I promised Dumbledore. We have to do this alone.'

Remus nodded, feeling disappointed. Sensing it was futile to keep arguing with Harry, Remus decided to explain what had happened at the wedding after they had disapparated. He told them that no one was killed and that almost everyone escaped. The Weasleys and other members of the Order of the Phoenix had gone into hiding. With a heavy heart, he told them what had happened to Luna, and they were saddened by the news.

'Shall we go and get the Wolfsbane potion?' Hermione asked. 'It's upstairs. You'll need to come with me and fetch it because it's a lot to carry.'

She left the room and headed for the stairs, not waiting for an answer. He followed her to a small room that she was using as her bedroom. He shut the door, giving them some privacy and as soon as he turned around, she was wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning up until their lips met.

He kissed her back, putting his hands on her small waist and pulling her closer towards him. He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding into her mouth and dancing with hers. He held her, soft and pliant in his arms, his heart rate quickening as he began to feel himself hardening. He gently pulled away before things got out of hand.

'Remus,' she breathed. 'I've missed you so much. I'm sorry I had to leave like that.'

'You had to leave,' he said understandingly. 'You especially would be in grave danger if they caught you.'

'What do you mean?'

'The Ministry and You-Know-Who are united now,' he explained. 'Pius Thicknesse is the new Minister of Magic and he's been placed under the Imperius curse. And it's just been announced that they're launching the Muggle-born Registration Commission.'

'What does that mean?'

'It means they're rounding up Muggle-borns,' he said grimly. 'I've only heard rumours, so I'm not completely sure what's going on but they seem to be summoning Muggle-borns to the Ministry to stand trial. If they can't prove that at least one of their grandparents had magical blood, then it is said that they're sent to Azkaban. No one really knows what really happens to them, though.'

Hermione looked horrified. 'How can people let this happen?'

Remus shrugged. 'They're afraid. They know who's behind this and they're too scared to stand against him.' He looked at her intently. 'Don't get caught, Hermione. It'll be worse for you. Not only are you a Muggle-born, you're also a known supporter of Harry Potter. They'll probably give you the Dementor's Kiss.'

'I'll be careful, Remus,' she promised.

He sat down on the edge of her bed. He looked up at her. 'Can you persuade Harry to let me accompany you?'

'I don't think I can,' she said apologetically.

He sighed and put his head in his hands. 'You don't know how worried I've been these last few days. I've been going crazy not knowing where you were. I don't think I can do this.'

'If I could keep in touch with you, I would,' she said gently.

He suddenly looked up. 'You can.' He pulled a present wrapped in shiny lilac paper and a silver bow out of his pocket. 'Here. I almost forgot about this.'

'What's this?'

'An early birthday present. Open it.'

She carefully untied the bow and removed the paper. It was a journal with gilt-edged pages and a white leather cover. She turned it over in her hands.

'I put a charm on it. I have a similar journal and if you write something in yours, it will appear in mine and vice versa. I thought we could use them to write to each other.'

Hermione smiled and stroked the smooth cover. 'Thanks, Remus. This is amazing.'

'I want to hear from you everyday, Hermione. If I don't, I'll start to worry.'

She nodded. 'Of course.'

Over the last few days he had thought up lots of advice he could tell her, and he suddenly remembered it now.

'Don't leave this house until you're seventeen, Hermione. Kingsley and I placed the block over this house because I had a feeling you might be here. But if you went outside you'd be traceable again. Until your birthday.'

He gave her the other advice that he thought would be useful to her. When he had finished, she smiled at him.

'Thanks, Remus, you've got some good ideas,' she said. 'Anything else I need to know?'

'Yes,' he said, his gaze slightly more intense. 'Don't let Ron try anything. You'll be alone for a long time so he's got plenty of opportunities.'

'Oh, you know there's only one wizard for me,' she said softly.

'Mmm and who might that be?' he said, boldly putting an arm round her and drawing her against him.

'Just a man. A man who's kind.' She kissed him on the lips. 'And clever.' She kissed him again. 'And brave.' Another kiss. 'Who also happens to be a werewolf.' She climbed up to straddle his lap, resting her knees on the bed either side of his legs and wrapping her arms around his neck. She tilted her head and moved it slowly towards his. 'And who's so very, very handsome.'

Their lips met in a kiss that was at first, tentative, sweet and gentle but soon became passionate. Hermione made little moaning noises and began to play with the hair at the back of his neck. He was hardening yet again and Hermione felt it too because she gently pulled away from him and smiled seductively. She slowly extricated one of her hands from the back his neck and began to reach down, as though she was going to touch him. Reluctantly, Remus took hold of her hand to stop her.

'Not now,' he whispered.

So she didn't think he didn't want her, he kissed her again, tangling his tongue with hers, occasionally nibbling the skin of her lower lip with his teeth. After a long moment, they broke apart and embraced.

'I don't know how I'm going to survive without this,' he said quietly, indicating their closeness.

'You will, Remus,' she said softly, 'because you have to. You're strong and brave, one of the bravest men in the Order, and whether you wanted it or not, you're one of its leaders now.'

He nodded. He stroked her cheek tenderly with his thumb.

'Hermione!' Ron's voice came from downstairs. 'Is Remus staying for dinner?'

Hermione smiled at Remus and then climbed down off his lap. 'We'd better go downstairs before Ron comes up and pesters you with hospitality.'

She picked up her little bag and reached into it, retrieving the box of Wolfsbane potion that she had brewed him.

'Now,' she said, trying to be stern as she handed the box to him. 'Remember to take this every day. I know how bad you are at taking your medicine.'

'Yes, doctor,' he said in amusement, following her as she made her way back downstairs.

* * *

**Sorry about any mistakes I might have made. I did check but I'm only human. By the way, I realise that Hermione's birthday is supposed to be in September and those of you who were paying attention might have noticed that in this story I've changed Hermione's birthday to August. I usually change it to August (8th August, in fact- I don't know why but I just really like that date) in most of my stories because I want to make her younger than Harry and Ron rather than older. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm sorry if people were waiting for me to update on Saturday, I've been busy. I've spent the last few days baking delicious treats for my boyfriend, including a HUGE rocky road worthy enough to satisfy even a chocoholic such as Remus.**

**This chapter is a Hermione one, set in the ordinary wizarding world. I thought it was about time I focused on her again because so many chapters lately have been flashbacks.**

**I don't own any of the characters, the incomparably talented Ms Rowling does. I'm not making any money from this story; it is simply a tribute to my ultimate favourite fandom. **

**Enjoy!**

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Hermione checked her appearance in the small mirror that was hanging in the living room, making sure she looked okay. She straightened her necklace and rearranged an unruly lock of curly brown hair.

She turned around and her gaze was immediately drawn to the photograph that was standing on the little table. She sighed, feeling hollow as she attempted to bury her grief for the day. She was tired; she had lain awake for hours last night, thinking of Remus. She had finally cried herself to sleep about three hours before daybreak. Her eyes were still a little sore and puffy but she managed to disguise it with makeup.

She opened her bag and checked again that she had what she needed for the day. As well as the usual items, her bag contained a box of her special freshly brewed Wolfsbane potion and a selection of colour swatches that Mrs Weasley had given her to look at.

She crossed the living room and put on her coat and shoes. Before leaving her apartment she glanced back at the photograph once more.

'See you later,' she whispered and then left, closing the door behind her.

Hermione apparated to the visitor's entrance of St. Mungo's Hospital and entered the building. She greeted the woman sitting at the welcome desk, who nodded to her, indicating that she could go through. Hermione was a regular visitor to the hospital and knew a lot of the staff.

Hermione took the stairs to the first floor and made her way to Healer Smethwyck's office. She knocked on the door and heard Smethwyck's familiar voice call, 'come in'. She went inside and shut the door behind her.

'Hermione! It's good to see you!' said the Healer. He looked slightly surprised. 'Is it the end of the month already?'

'Yes, it is,' Hermione said, taking the Wolfsbane potion out of her bag and placing it on the Healer's cluttered desk.

'Thank you, m'dear,' Smethwyck said warmly. 'Take a seat. Can I offer you a drink? Tea? Coffee?'

'No, thank you,' Hermione replied, sitting in the seat that faced the Healer's desk.

Smethwyck opened the box and took a look inside. 'I'm glad you brought this. We've gotten a few new patients lately and they all need treatment.'

'Do you want me to brew more?'

Hermione brewed her Wolfsbane Potion for the patients on the werewolf ward at St. Mungo's and once a month she delivered vast quantities of it to Healer Smethwyck, the wizard in charge.

'We will need more, of course,' Smethwyck said, 'but I don't want to put you to any trouble. If you gave our potioneers the recipe I'm sure they'd be able to make it.'

Hermione shook her head. 'I want to help. And besides, I enjoy making it.'

Smethwyck shrugged and smiled. 'Very well… I must say, I've never met anyone as dedicated to werewolfism as you are, Hermione. Especially someone who has no reason to care as much as you do.'

Hermione knew that when he was a child, Smethwyck's sister had been bitten by a werewolf and that she had suffered greatly because of it, so he had a very good reason for being so committed to his career. Although he didn't know it, Hermione had an equally important reason for her interest in werewolves. But she wasn't about to mention that she was in love with her former professor who had also been a werewolf.

Hermione smiled. 'Well as a Muggle-born I know what it's like to be shunned by society. And like Muggle-borns, I don't see why werewolves should be hated simply because of a condition they have no control over.'

Smethwyck nodded in agreement. 'The other Healers and I are very grateful for the work that you do. As are the patients.'

'How are the patients?' Hermione asked, trying to divert attention away from herself.

'The children are thriving,' said Smethwyck, referring to Robbie, Stella and Tony, the three unfortunate children who had been bitten by a werewolf two months ago. Partly due to Hermione's Wolfsbane Potion and partly due to their child-like love of life, they hardly noticed their condition. 'And most of the other patients are okay.' The Healer continued. 'But Mr Brown is struggling. He can't seem to cope. He's refusing to eat or exercise and he's hardly speaking to his wife.'

'Maybe I should speak to him?' Hermione asked.

Smethwyck nodded. 'Perhaps it would help.' He looked down at the copious amounts of parchment on his desk. 'Well, I'd better get back to work, this paperwork won't complete itself.'

He grinned. He always seemed to find the positive in almost every situation, which was one of the things Hermione liked most about him.

Hermione said goodbye to the Healer and stepped out into the ward. The three little children nearly bumped into her as they ran, laughing and shouting, down the ward, skidding a little on the shiny floor.

'Sorry, Hermione,' the small, dark-haired seven-year-old Stella called over her shoulder.

Hermione watched, smiling, as the children disappeared noisily around the corner. She turned and scanned the ward before she spotted Mr Brown lying despondently in the bed at the far end of the room. Hermione approached the bed calmly and greeted Mr and Mrs Brown quietly.

'How are you, Hermione?' Mrs Brown asked with a smile.

'Oh, I'm fine,' said, using her standard response whenever anyone asked her the question. 'And how are you both?'

Mrs Brown glanced at her husband, who remained silent, not looking at them. The older woman's expression became downcast. 'Not so good,' she said quietly.

'Let me talk to him a moment,' Hermione said. Mrs Brown nodded, agreeing that she would go and get a cup of tea from the hospital café.

Hermione sat down in the chair next to the bed.

'Mr Brown?' She said quietly.

At first, the man simply lay there, not making any sign that he had heard her. But when Hermione was about to try again, he slowly turned his head and looked at her.

'Hello, Miss Granger,' he said with a hoarse voice. 'What can I do for you?'

'Oh, I was just hoping for a little chat,' Hermione said carefully. She didn't want to say anything that would make him withdraw into himself again.

Mr Brown nodded. 'I'm not much use these days,' he murmured. 'You'd probably have a better conversation with the guys over there.' He indicated two other patients, two middle aged men who were sitting in identical beds, chatting heartily.

Before Hermione could form a response to his comment, Robbie, Stella and Tony rushed past again, heading for the nurse, who had just walked in with a tray of juice and biscuits for them.

'They seem happy,' Hermione said casually.

Mr Brown closed his eyes, as if the sight of the children pained him. 'I can't see why they would be.' He opened his eyes and fixed his gaze on Hermione again. 'They're cursed. Their lives are ruined before they've even truly begun.'

Hermione shook her head. 'They've got a lot to live for.'

'A life of painful, monthly transformations into disgusting, unnatural creatures? A life of being persecuted by the society that they had happily belonged to just a few months ago? What kind of life is that?'

'They can live almost completely normal lives if they take my Wolfsbane Potion,' Hermione said gently. 'And you'd see that if you'd start taking it. Will you give it a try?'

Mr Brown didn't say anything. Hermione knew that he was aware of the benefits of taking the potion. He had witnessed it in the others; every other person on the ward was taking it daily. But Hermione understood why he was reluctant. Taking the potion meant admitting to himself that he was a werewolf, and he was still half in denial about his condition.

'I know your wife wants you to start taking it,' said Hermione.

'My wife?' Mr Brown said bitterly. 'Sandra stopped being my wife twenty-three days ago.'

'What do you mean?' Hermione said.

'She's going to leave me,' said Mr Brown with certainty. 'She won't stay married to a werewolf. Who could stand the shame of such a thing?'

Before Hermione could reply, another voice spoke. 'No, Paul, don't say that.'

Both Hermione and Mr Brown turned and looked at the woman. Mr Brown's expression hardened.

'Don't worry, Sandra,' he said. 'I'll give you your divorce.'

'No,' Mrs Brown said, in a heartbreakingly quiet voice. 'I'm not leaving you. I love you and whatever's happened to you, it doesn't matter to me. You're still my Paul. Nothing's changed. Why can't you see that?'

His wife's words seemed to melt the hardness of Mr Brown's expression. He gazed at his wife in wonder, as if, for a while, he had forgotten who she was and was only now beginning to remember.

'Do you mean that?' he whispered, his eyes not leaving his wife's face.

'Of course,' she whispered back and then she spoke more clearly. 'Now will you take the potion that Hermione has been good enough to brew for you?'

'Yes,' he said without hesitation.

Mrs Brown moved towards the bed and held her husband's hand. Hermione could see that she was near tears. 'Thank you.'

Hermione couldn't cope with the raw intimacy between the couple, especially as it reminded her of the lack of it in her own life. She thought of her own werewolf, the man she had lost and she felt a familiar tightness in her chest. Tears brimmed in her eyes. She mumbled her goodbyes hurried away from Mr and Mrs Brown and out of the ward.

Hermione emerged from St. Mungo's into the early afternoon sun feeling emotionally drained. She had only just made it to the ladies restroom before her tears began coursing down her cheeks. Her grief was so overwhelming that her throat ached painfully and she couldn't breathe.

When her sorrow became so great that she thought she would die from it, it peaked. Her sobs quietened and her tears dried up. Her breathing slowly went back to normal and again, she felt hollow.

She spent a long time readjusting her hair and makeup, making sure that no one would be able to tell that she had been crying. She waited until she had raised her barriers enough to shield her from the reality of her life.

Now, Hermione felt calm. She remembered, with disappointment, where she was headed next. She braced herself and then disapparated.

She materialised just outside the rundown front garden of the Burrow and made her way towards the odd, ramshackle house.

'Hermione!' shrieked a familiar voice, and then Hermione was accosted by a boisterous, ginger-haired girl who drew her immediately into a hug.

'Hello, Ginny,' Hermione said in mild amusement.

Ginny let her friend go and beamed at her. She grabbed her by the arm and began urging her into the house.

'Mum's been waiting for you, she's so excited!'

Hermione entered the house and barely had time to take off her coat and shoes before Ginny was pushing her into the cosy living room.

Mrs Weasley was sitting on the sofa surrounded by bridal magazines. She beamed when she saw Hermione.

'I'm glad you're here, dear,' Mrs Weasley said.

'Me and Mum have found you the perfect dress!' Ginny said enthusiastically.

Hermione found herself being steered unceremoniously towards the sofa.

'What do you want to talk about first?' Mrs Weasley asked as Hermione sat down.

'Dresses!' said Ginny loudly. She grabbed the nearest magazine and ended up scattering quite a few of them on the floor.

Ginny flipped to a double page spread in the middle of the magazine that contained several young, lithe girls modelling the latest dresses.

'Look at this one,' Ginny said, showing Hermione an extravagant dress with a huge skirt. 'This would look perfect on you.'

'Or this one,' said Mrs Weasley, who had been rifling through another magazine. 'This will give you curves and a bust.'

'Er…' Hermione said, blushing. 'That looks nice.'

'Ooo, this one is sexy!' Ginny exclaimed. 'Ron wouldn't stop salivating if he saw you in this!'

'That looks okay,' Hermione said, even though she thought it looked far too revealing and left little to the imagination (not her style at all).

'This one has a real 1960s look to it,' Mrs Weasley gushed. 'Just like the one I wore on my wedding day.'

'That one's okay, too,' Hermione said, unable to keep her lack of interest out of her tone.

'Is it all too much for you, dear?' Mrs Weasley asked.

'Well… there are just so many dresses to choose from,' Hermione said slowly.

'You don't have to decide now,' Mrs Weasley said. 'This is just to get a few ideas. Besides, we can go to Diagon Alley and visit all the dress shops. We can make a day of it!'

Mrs Weasley beamed and Hermione tried to match her enthusiasm, but she just couldn't seem to get excited about a ridiculously expensive, overly extravagant dress that she would only be wearing once.

'That's… great,' Hermione said with a small smile.

'I'm a little thirsty. I'll make a pot of tea. Here, look at these,' Mrs Weasley said, handing her a stack of magazines. 'They've got some wonderful ideas.'

Hermione placed the magazines back onto the table in front of her. Ginny was lost in a thick glossy copy of _Witch Weekly's Summer Wedding Guide_ and was clearly enjoying what she was reading. Hermione glanced down at a piece of parchment covered in Mrs Weasley's handwriting, realising that it was a wedding checklist:

_Initial Wedding Plans:_

_Decide on wedding party_

_Make guest list and send out invitations_

_Book wedding venues_

_Book vicar_

_Hire photographer_

_Hire band_

_Hire florist_

_Hire caterer _

_Bride's dress, shoes and accessories_

_Bridesmaid's dresses_

_Order wedding cake_

_Arrange hen party_

_Rings_

Hermione felt daunted as she read the list and slightly nauseated as she realised that this was only 'initial plans'. She noticed that the wedding venues had already been booked and wondered who had done that.

A few minutes later, Mrs Weasley returned with a tray of tea and homemade cupcakes, which she placed on the table.

'Mrs Weasley, it says here that the wedding venues have already been booked,' she said, pointing at the list. 'Where have you booked?'

'Ron decided on the church down in Ottery St Catchpole so that the local vicar can marry you,' Mrs Weasley explained. 'And he said you wanted the reception to be at the Cannon's Club since you both love it there.'

Hermione nodded. She was annoyed that Ron hadn't consulted her first. She wasn't too bothered about the church but she certainly didn't want the wedding reception to be at the Cannon's Club.

'Look, Mum,' Ginny said as Mrs Weasley sat back down again. 'I've found some lovely bridesmaids dresses that Luna and I could wear.'

'Oh, I agree,' said Mrs Weasley. 'That would look wonderful with your red hair.'

'Yeah, and I was thinking that Harry could…'

As Ginny and Mrs Weasley began discussing possible outfit ideas for every member of the wedding party, Hermione found herself zoning out. She quietly sipped her tea and wished that she had something else to read other than the wedding magazines.

After an hour of discussion between the two Weasley women, in which Hermione had only made a few non-committal one-word answers, Mrs Weasley finally seemed to notice that Hermione was bored. She arranged to meet Hermione in Diagon Alley the following week so that they could start dress shopping.

'Tell Ron that he and Harry need to sort out appropriate dress robes,' Mrs Weasley told Hermione as she was putting her coat on. 'And, please, dear, try to put a little weight on. You're so skinny. We might not find a dress small enough to fit you!'

'I'll try,' Hermione said.

'I'll have to start sending you a few of my home-cooked dinners,' Mrs Weasley mused. 'That'll put colour in your cheeks.'

Ginny rolled her eyes. 'Mum, stop trying to feed her up.'

Hermione moved towards the front door.

'I'll see you next week, Hermione,' Mrs Weasley said. 'And don't forget to look over those magazines I gave you!'

Hermione nodded, and after saying goodbye to Ginny and her mother, stepped out into the Weasley's yard, relieved to be away from the incessant wedding talk.

* * *

**I always imagined that Hermione wouldn't want a massive white wedding (much like myself) and I can really see her finding the whole thing tiresome. **

**Please review! I love hearing your thoughts about the story.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you to those who reviewed last chapter; you're the best! Also, thank you to everyone who is following this story. I'm delighted by how much interest it's getting.**

**I've just set up a Twitter account where I will post news about the stories I'm writing and any new ideas I have. Check my Fanfiction profile page for a link :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story (not even Remus *sob*). I'm not JK Rowling- as if I'd ever be that lucky.**

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In limbo, Remus jumped to the ground and immediately sank down onto the forest floor at the feet of a cluster of dark, imposing trees. Joseph, the little cub he had rescued, leapt agilely down next to him, seemingly pleased at significantly improving his tree-climbing skills.

'Are you tired?' the cub asked his companion telepathically.

'Exhausted,' Remus replied, closing his eyes.

Lately, he had been very easy to tire. Before, he could wander the forest almost endlessly but now very little activity made him weary. He was probably encouraging his own exhaustion because, whenever he slept, he was transported to the world of dreams, where his memories of Hermione came alive. Seeing her, above all else, was what he wanted, even if he was only experiencing an echo.

Long ago, it seemed, he had discovered that the barrier between life and death became thin and he could watch the mortal world. He spent hours observing Hermione despite how painful her grief was to witness. He watched her trudging unhappily through life, from completing her magical and Muggle university education, to starting work in her unsuitable Ministry job, to beginning her charitable work for the poor werewolves at St. Mungo's.

She survived in the same desolate existence for many years, he assumed, but then her life suddenly changed. She started dating Ron Weasley. She didn't love him, he could see that, but he also understood that whenever she was with him he seemed to dull the crippling pain of her grief. Remus gradually began distancing himself from the mortal world. He wished Hermione happiness but he couldn't bear to see her with Ron.

Every so often, Remus would check on Hermione. One of these moments had arisen while he had been teaching Joseph to climb. She was curled up on her sofa in her little apartment and she was leafing through bridal magazines. Remus's heart stung. He was reminded of the moment when he had just happened to look into the mortal world and he had witnessed something he wished he hadn't: Ron proposing to Hermione. Remus could see that, for her, nothing had changed. She still ached from the loss of her one true love and her feelings for Ron paled into insignificance when compared to those she still had for Remus himself. But she was lonely and she feared that her future was nothing but emptiness.

Watching her that day, Remus lamented his own death. He hated Ron; he knew it should have been him proposing to her instead. She should be spending the rest of her life with Remus, not Ron, but there was nothing he could do about it. Now, she was looking at wedding dresses. Her impending nuptials with Ron must be serious. Remus felt curiously hollow and retreated back into limbo to focus on the cub now in his care.

'Are you going to sleep?' Joseph asked with disappointment. Remus knew that he wanted to carry on practising climbing.

'Yes. I'm sorry,' Remus said, not opening his eyes.

'I'll keep watch,' Joseph said simply, and he moved a little apart from his companion.

Remus surrendered himself fully to his world of memories.

_March 1998_

Remus stripped down to his boxer shorts- his usual night time attire- and climbed into bed. He took a sip of hot chocolate from the mug standing on his bedside table and then reached for the black leather-bound journal that lay on it. He opened the book and turned to the right page. He frowned. It was blank. He glanced up at the clock. It was just past eleven. Hermione always wrote to him by eleven. He wondered why she hadn't today.

He waited, sipping his chocolate until it was gone. Then he tried to continue with the book he was currently reading but he found it hard to concentrate, and his eyes kept darting to the journal, which was lying open on the bed next to him, hoping that a message from Hermione had appeared.

Time passed. It was nearing midnight and the crisp parchment of the journal remained blank. Remus was wide awake with worry. He had completely abandoned his fiction book now and had fixed his gaze on the journal, willing Hermione's neat, elegant script to appear on the page.

Why hadn't Hermione written to him? Remus's mind went into overdrive, continually coming up with worse and worse reasons. Maybe she was simply too busy. He knew she had been researching that strange symbol that she had found in a book Dumbledore had given her. Maybe she hadn't had a moment alone, when Harry and Ron weren't trying to read what she was writing. Maybe she had been injured and was lying in a bed in St. Mungo's, exhausted and in pain. Maybe her blood status had been discovered and she had been kidnapped because of it. Maybe she was dead. Remus flinched as the thought crossed his mind.

To distract himself from his thoughts, which were rapidly becoming frantic, he reread the last letter she had sent him:

_Dear Remus,_

_How are you? Have you taken your Wolfsbane Potion today? Don't forget; I don't want you to suffer because of your condition._

_Nothing much has changed. I'm still thinking of telling Harry that we should see Xenophilius Lovegood. I've looked in every book I own and I still don't know what that symbol means. Thank you for risking a visit to Grimmauld Place to check Sirius's library for me. I'm actually surprised you didn't find any reference to it. It's so frustrating._

_But I remember that Lovegood was wearing that symbol round his neck as a pendant at Bill's wedding. I think it's worth a visit to Ottery St. Catchpole if he can explain what that symbol means. Dumbledore wouldn't have given me the book without good reason, and I'm sure the symbol has to mean something._

_I don't know if I can talk to Harry at the moment, though. He's still really upset about what happened at Godric's Hollow. I don't think he can get over the loss of his wand. I feel so guilty about that. And Harry blames me, I know he does. He won't even look at me. All he does is sit and read that awful biography Skeeter wrote about Dumbledore. I know he's right to blame me but I just wish he'd talk about it. I feel terrible and I want to make it right somehow. _

_Ron is still being annoyingly nice to me. It's his way of grovelling. But I'm not just going to forgive him for abandoning his friends. I think he's getting bored already. And I think he's starting to notice the absence of his home comforts. I don't blame him, though. We're cold and hungry and tired and we all hate it._

_I miss you so much, Remus. It feels like I've never gone so long without seeing you. I look up at the moon every night and I think of you. I sound sickly sweet, don't I? I'm like one of those silly school girls with a crush that I promised myself I'd never become. But I didn't expect this to happen. I didn't expect to fall so deeply in love with you._

_I'd better go now, Harry and Ron want to go to sleep, and they don't appreciate me keeping the light on. If I could, I talk to you all night using this journal but I'll write to you tomorrow. Don't worry too much, Remus. Everything will be okay._

_Hermione_

_X_

Remus glanced up at the clock. It was nearly half past twelve. He didn't know what to do. There was nothing he could do. He was helpless. His mind was restless with worry.

'Remus.'

At first, he thought he had simply imagined it, but then he heard it again.

'Remus.'

A familiar voice was calling his name from within his own cottage. Remus leapt out of bed, quickly pulled on his dark blue dressing gown and made his way to the fireplace in his living room.

'Remus, there you are,' said the gruff voice in relief. In the flames was the head of Aberforth Dumbledore.

'Good evening, Aberforth,' Remus said. 'What can I do for you?'

'You have to alert the Order. Potter and his friends have been captured by Snatchers and they've been taken to Malfoy Manor.'

Remus stood frozen to the spot in shock. 'Are- are they okay?' he managed to ask.

Aberforth looked grim. 'The Death Eaters are torturing Potter's friend, the Granger girl.'

Remus's blood ran cold. There was a ringing in his ears and he struggled to focus on Aberforth, who was still speaking.

'I'm sending a house elf to you. You need to direct him to the Order's safe houses,' the grey-bearded wizard said. 'He will take you all to Malfoy Manor; he can apparate in and out of the place despite their protection charms.'

Remus nodded, turning and hurrying from the room before Aberforth's head had even disappeared from the fireplace. In his bedroom he slipped on the first clothes to hand, those he had been wearing earlier. A second after he had put on his coat and shoes and grabbed his wand off the bedside table, there came a small _pop _from the living room.

The small house elf looked anxious, but he still bowed to Remus as he entered the room.

'Master Lupin needs to direct Dobby to the home of Master Weezy,' the elf said. 'Master Aberforth instructed Dobby to help you gather wizards to help Harry Potter.'

Remus shook his head. 'There's no time, Dobby, just take me to Malfoy Manor.'

Dobby looked stricken. 'But Master Aberforth said…'

'Dobby, Harry Potter's life is in danger!' Remus said urgently. 'I need to help him now!'

Without another word, Dobby held out his arm and Remus grabbed on. With a sudden, sickening shift in surroundings, Dobby had transported them directly inside the cellar of the mansion, which was occupied by an odd assortment of people. Harry and Ron were standing close to the door and Luna Lovegood was nearby. Dean and a goblin stood in the shadows and in the corner, Ollivander was slumped, clearly injured.

'Remus!' said Harry in surprise. 'What are you doing here?'

'Never mind that,' said Ron, pointing at the cellar door, which led to the drawing room. 'They're torturing Hermione up there!'

That's when Remus heard an agonised, blood-curdling scream that was unmistakably Hermione.

'Please! I don't know what you mean!' Hermione cried.

'Crucio!' roared a voice Remus recognised as belonging to Bellatrix Lestrange. Hermione screamed again.

'We have to help her!' Ron said desperately.

'Okay, Dobby,' Remus said. 'Please transport everyone to…'

'Shell Cottage,' Ron said. 'Just outside Tinworth. It's Bill's place.'

Dobby nodded and beckoned everyone towards him. Luna and Dean helped Ollivander to stand up. Harry looked at Remus.

'What are you going to do?'

'I'm going to break the anti-Apparition spell and then I'm going to get Hermione out of here.'

Dobby was surrounded by everyone in the cellar apart from Harry and Remus.

'Harry Potter,' Dobby said. 'I need to get you to safety.'

Harry shook his head. 'I'm going to stay and help Remus. Take everyone to Shell Cottage, Dobby.'

'Don't come back for me, Dobby,' Remus said. 'I'll apparate Hermione to safety. It's too risky for you to do it if she's badly injured.'

Dobby nodded and then apparated out of the cellar, taking Ron, Luna, Dean, Ollivander and the goblin with him. Remus pulled out his wand and began muttering a counter-spell that would take down the Manor's anti-apparition protection. Harry watched anxiously.

After five minutes of concentration and complicated spell work, Remus felt a change in the atmosphere. He believed he had been successful. He immediately tried to disapparate and ended up in the drawing room, right next to Lucius Malfoy.

Without hesitation Remus swung his fist and punched Malfoy to the ground. Bellatrix spun around and was shocked by his presence. She had been kneeling by Hermione, who was lying flat on the floor, cradling her left arm, while her right was sticking out uselessly to the side at an odd angle. Narcissa and Draco didn't seem to know what to do.

But Bellatrix rose quickly to her feet and aimed the disarming spell at Remus, who deflected it easily. Remus used the stunning spell but Bellatrix managed to dodge it. Bellatrix shot red sparks at Remus, and he realised she was trying to cast the Cruciatus Curse on him. He retaliated by casting a strong shield charm and the red sparks bounced harmlessly away. Bellatrix smirked at him insanely and screamed the spell that Remus knew his shield wouldn't be able to stop.

Remus dived out of the way and the ghastly green glow of the killing curse missed him by inches. A split second later, Harry burst through the doors of the cellar and stunned Bellatrix, who fell awkwardly to the floor.

'Stupefy!' shouted Remus, aiming at Narcissa, who fell unconscious like her sister.

While Remus ran over to Hermione, Harry advanced on Draco. Harry tousled with Draco and managed to wrench the wands from his hand. Dobby apparated into the drawing room.

Without a thought, Remus scooped Hermione into his arms and she winced in pain. He grabbed the sword of Godric Gryffindor and Hermione's bag and apparated them away. The last thing he saw was Dobby getting Harry out of there and Bellatrix stumbling to her feet, throwing her dagger.

Remus and Hermione materialised into the bedroom of his cottage. He laid Hermione gently on his bed but he accidentally jolted her arm, and she cried out.

'I'm sorry, my darling,' Remus whispered.

Remus examined Hermione's wounds. She had a gash on her head and her hair had matted into the wound. Her cheek bloomed with a fresh bruise. One of her arms was broken and the other, Remus was shocked to learn, had been carved with the word 'Mudblood' in jagged, untidy letters.

'What has she done to you?' Remus said, almost crying at the sight of the woman he loved lying so seriously injured on his bed.

Remus set about healing her. First, he had to get her out of the bloodied clothes she was wearing. He stripped her until all she was wearing was her bra and panties and he suddenly realised that he was never seen her this naked before. But at the moment he surveyed her body objectively and clinically, as if he were a healer.

He went into the bathroom to fetch medical supplies. With one arm, he lifted her torso off the bed and with the other he brought the vial of powerful painkiller potion to her lips so that she could drink it. Then he muttered a spell and healed her broken bone with ease. He gently dabbed a little blood-staunching potion on her head wound and it immediately stopped bleeding and sealed itself. He tried the same with the awful wound on her arm but the potion had no effect.

It was as Remus had feared. The dagger that Bellatrix had used on Hermione had been cursed. It would take a long time to stop bleeding and it would take very little for it to open up again. It would never truly heal. It pained him so much that he couldn't bear to look at it anymore. He bathed it in warm water as gently as he could and bandaged it carefully.

He gave her a dose of dreamless sleep potion to keep away any nightmares and put her in one of his t-shirts. Lastly he lovingly covered her with his thick duvet. He sat perched on the edge of the bed for about an hour, watching her sleep.

At four o'clock in the morning, he went to his fireplace, threw in some Floo powder and contacted Shell Cottage. Bill and Fleur greeted him and immediately fetched Harry and Ron.

'How is she?' Harry and Ron said simultaneously.

'She's… a little better,' Remus said.

'When can she come to Shell Cottage?' asked Harry.

'In a few days,' Remus replied, and noticed the disappointed looks on the boys' faces. 'One of her wounds is… delicate and travelling by apparition or Floo powder would make it worse.'

They both nodded. 'You should get to bed, Remus,' said Harry.

'And you two, you look dead on your feet,' Remus said.

They finished the conversation quickly.

'Take care of her, Remus,' Ron warned.

It was nearly dawn by the time Remus went back into his bedroom. Hermione was still asleep, looking peacefully beautiful, with her wild brown hair fanned out around her on the pillow. Remus was too tired to brush his teeth so he climbed into bed next to Hermione, fully-clothed and fell into restless slumber.

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**Part two of this flashback will be coming up in the next chapter. Please review, if you could be so kind :)**

**And remember to follow me on Twitter, if you like :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Forty-four people are following this story now, I'm amazed by how much people seem to be enjoying it.**

**This chapter finishes the March 1998 flashback (the Malfoy Manor incident) that I started in the last chapter. Also, this is the chapter that the story starts to earn its M rating. Yes, there is sexual content. If you don't like it, don't read it (and also don't read if you're under age). I'm a little bit nervous about publishing this chapter because of the lemons so I'd really like your thoughts.**

**Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and I don't own any of the characters.**

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_March 1998_

Remus awoke slowly and discovered that only a few hours had passed since he had fallen asleep. He turned and looked at Hermione. She slumbered on and showed no signs of having woken. Remus wasn't worried. He realised she must be so exhausted.

Remus, hating having slept in his clothes, went into his adjacent bathroom and turned on the shower. He stepped under the warm spray and sighed in contentment. He spent a little longer in the shower than he usually allowed himself. After he had washed his hair and body he simply stood and let his not entirely innocent thoughts of Hermione slowly unleash. He was thrilled that the woman- a sexy, alluring woman- he loved was currently in his bed. He was reminded of all the times he had imagined this in the past and he grew hard.

He was slowly reaching down, ready to grasp his erection, but he stopped himself. He felt uncomfortable. How could he stand in his shower and pleasure himself to the thought of a young woman lying injured in his bed? He turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, swiftly drying himself off.

As he hadn't brought any fresh clothes into the bathroom with him, he stepped into his bedroom wearing only a towel wrapped round his narrow waist. He noticed that Hermione was now awake. She smiled as soon as she saw him and he smiled back at her.

'Remus,' she said, her voice husky with sleep.

'You're awake,' he said happily. 'How are you feeling?'

'Not bad,' she said, 'considering…'

She had been about to mention what had happened to her but the memory of it made her shudder.

'Are you hungry?' Remus said, trying to distract her. 'I can make golden syrup pancakes.'

'Sounds delicious,' she said with a smile.

'Coming right up,' he said, going into the kitchen still dressed only in his towel.

He started making the pancakes, preparing the mixture while setting his old kettle to boil. He was just making the tea while keeping an eye on the pancakes in the pan when Hermione padded quietly into the kitchen wearing only his top. She looked deliciously dishevelled and the sight of her made Remus's erection rise up again.

'What are you doing out of bed?' he asked, trying not to ogle her too much. 'You should be resting.'

'Do you think I could just lie in bed while you're in here, dressed in a towel?' She laughed, running her eyes over his naked chest and down to the strip of light brown hair that went from his belly button down to his growing erection. Her eyes flashed with surprised desire.

Hermione approached him, quietly but assuredly, stopping when she was less that a foot away. She reached out with both hands and ran them lightly over the skin of his back and then snaked round to stroke his chest, playing with his nipples.

Remus sucked in a breath, enjoying the soft, tantalising feel of her small, warm hands on his skin.

'_Hermione_,' he whispered with a groan.

Although he knew he should halt her advances, he turned around so that he was facing her and put his hands on her hips, immediately pulled her closer, meeting her lips with his own in an exquisite, searing kiss. Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck and opened for him, allowing his questing tongue to delve into her mouth.

She made a little moaning sound that delighted him and soon, his hands were venturing down, sliding beneath the t-shirt she wore and softly grazing the smooth skin of her waist. She kissed him more fervently, as if urging him to continue. Under her shirt, his hands moved higher, stroking her ribcage before rising up to cup her breasts. Hermione pushed her chest into his hands and without being fully conscious of it, one of his hands was reaching round to unclasp her bra. He pushed up the silky material and her breasts were spilling into his hands. He circled her nipples with his thumbs and then stroked them, feeling them hardening.

Hermione broke off the kiss and breathed heavily. Her smile had the distracted sexiness of a woman thoroughly enjoying the pleasure she was being given. She moaned again as he pinched her nipples slightly and cock his throbbed and strained against the towel that concealed it.

Remus began planting soft, teasing kisses along her neck and she tilted her head to allow him better access. His right hand caressed her breast once more and then it was moving down again, tickling her lightly until it reached the apex of her thighs. With the lightest of touches, he grazed his finger along her silken panties and moaned quietly with irrepressible lust. She was soaking.

One of Hermione's hands released the hold on his neck and was copying his actions, gliding slowly down his torso. He knew what she was about to do and if he let her do it, he'd be unable to stop their passion, despite his better judgement. Her hand slowly descended and was about to enter the folds of his towel… he gasped in anticipation.

And then he smelled burning pancakes. He immediately turned and looked at the pan. The pancakes were blackened, ruined. He turned the hob off. He looked down at Hermione and she smiled up at him sensuously. Her hand was still descending…

'_Hermione_,' he moaned and finally reason overrode lust. He gently took her hand and stopped its progress towards his straining erection.

She immediately looked hurt and rejected.

'No, no,' Remus said, almost in a whisper. 'I want to, believe me. You don't know how badly I want you. But… this isn't the right moment. You've barely recovered. You should be resting. And I should be taking care of you, not taking advantage.'

She looked as if she was about to argue but then she sighed. 'You're right.' She reached up a hand and touched her hair. 'Besides rest, I need a bath. I must be a complete state.'

He gently stroked a thumb down her cheek and gazed into her eyes. 'No, you're as beautiful as ever.'

She smiled at him tenderly and then seemed to notice the burned pancakes on the stove. 'Oh dear,' she said in slight amusement.

'Yes,' he agreed with a lopsided smile. Her stomach growled insistently. 'Why don't you get back into bed and I'll bring you breakfast?'

She glanced at the stove again, looking as though she was about to offer her assistance but then she noticed his mock-stern expression and she gave in.

'Okay,' she agreed. She pulled him down for a quick kiss that was full of promise. 'Hurry back, though.'

He nodded and watched her walking away, looking undeniably sexy in his t-shirt. His persistent erection surged again, reminding him that was still as horny as hell. He ignored it and resumed making breakfast.

Remus had drawn Hermione a soothing, hot bath and left her to relax. His mind wandered, imagining her naked in his bath tub and he decided that he needed a distraction. He went back into the kitchen and began washing up. After the breakfast plates and mugs were washed and dry, he began cleaning the oven.

He liked cleaning. He wasn't obsessive about it but he'd always found it to be a simple, methodical exercise that served to calm and relax his mind, especially when it was done the Muggle way.

After the oven, sink and counter-tops were gleaming and spotless, he moved into the bedroom to see what he could do in there. He noticed that the sheets were stained with Hermione's blood. He didn't mind at all, but he didn't want her to climb back into spoiled sheets. He changed them, enjoying the scent of the freshly laundered ones he had retrieved from his airing cupboard. He threw the blood-stained ones away.

When Remus had just about finished, the bathroom door opened and Hermione emerged. This time, it was she who was only wearing a towel and at the sight of her, with water glistening on her bare shoulders and her hair dark and damp, Remus's cock hardened yet again.

But he looked down at her arm and noticed that it was bleeding freely again.

'You need that bandaged again,' he said and directed her to sit on the edge of the freshly- made bed.

Remus fetched more supplies and sat close to her on the bed. He gently gripped her arm and cleaned the blood away. He noticed that she was having difficulty looking at her injury so she seemed to be distracting herself by gazing at him. As he carefully bandaged her arm he inhaled the scent of her hair, which smelled of his shampoo. This close to her, he could see the individual droplets of water on her skin. She was so alluring to his senses that he was having difficulty concentrating. Finally, he finished bandaging her arm.

'Thank you,' she said, smiling slightly.

He nodded. 'How are you feeling now?'

'Much better, especially after that bath.'

He ran the tips of fingers tenderly over her bandage.

'As soon as we can stabilise this, you'll be able to travel,' he said. 'I'll take you to Bill's safe house.'

'Okay,' she said. 'Good. I need to give the sword to Harry.'

Remus wished that she didn't have to leave his cottage. She was safe here, and protected. And if she left after their brief interlude, he knew her absence would pain him all the more.

'Where are you planning on going after you meet up with Harry and Ron again?' he asked casually.

She shook her head. 'I don't know. I'm hoping Harry will have an idea. It was my fault that we got caught by Snatchers.'

He was puzzled so she explained how she had persuaded Harry to take them to see Xenophilius Lovegood but that the wizard had betrayed them out of fear for his daughter's life. Remus was troubled to learn that they had very nearly been caught at Lovegood's house and that in trying to escape they had apparated directly into the path of Snatchers.

Remus knew what had happened after that. He remembered the sight of her, lying almost unconscious on the floor of the Manor. The realisation of how close he had come to losing her in that moment made his heart ache. There were tears in his eyes.

'Hermione,' he said, his voice sounding strange to his own ears. 'If something had happened to you last night, I don't know what I'd have done…'

'I know,' she said, gazing up at him.

She took his hand and entwined his fingers with hers. Slowly she leaned forward, closing the small gap between them inch by inch until their lips touched. She kissed him so sweetly that a tear slid down his nose. He let her continue in this tender, completely innocent way but all the while he felt his need growing, fuelled by his fear of losing her.

After a few minutes, his passion got the better of him and he took her face in both of his hands and kissed her more urgently. His tongue slid out, seeking entrance to her mouth, which she granted him immediately. His tongue caressed hers wildly. Soon, she was breathless so they broke apart and he used the opportunity to blaze a trail of hot kisses along her jaw bone, then down her neck and onto her shoulder. She gasped and held his head to her as he nibbled her collar bone. Her breathing grew heavier.

'Remus… I want you,' she murmured.

'Mmm,' he agreed, as he continued to kiss and lick his way back up her neck.

'I don't care if I haven't fully recovered. I want you… now.'

He had been biting her earlobe but when he heard her words he stilled.

He looked at her with all the seriousness that his lust-fuelled mind would allow. 'Are you sure?'

'Yes,' she said clearly, and slowly she reached down and opened her towel, revealing her naked breasts.

Remus groaned at the sight of her nipples hardening. He lowered his head and sucked one of them into his mouth, laving it with his tongue and biting it playfully. He sucked it until it was raw and then he turned his attention to the other one.

Hermione reached down and began unbuttoning his shirt with trembling fingers. As soon as his chest was revealed to her again she ran her hands all over it, feeling every muscle and every scar.

He released her nipple and looked at them both, pleased that he made them so hard. He looked up at Hermione and saw that her eyes with glazed with lust. He leaned in and began to kiss her again, and while he did, he grasped her shoulders and pushed her slowly down to lie on the bed.

Hermione laughed softly against his mouth, seemingly thrilled about what he was doing. With the backs of his fingers, he stroked the underside of her breast. It was an area so sensitive that she squirmed with pleasure. He kissed her until her lips were red and swollen.

After a while he broke away and gazed down at her. His hand stroked down over her ribcage and her flat belly. He parted her legs slightly and Hermione stilled and held her breath. His hand moved further down and he stroked her clit with one finger.

'_More_,' Hermione moaned again.

He stroked her again, deftly, and she writhed with desire. He gazed up at her. Her skin was flushed. Her eyes had fluttered shut and her mouth was open in wonder at the bliss he was giving her. He smiled and continued, his fingers slipping over her hot, wet clit.

With each stroke, he drew the pleasure out of her. She began to shake and Remus knew that she was close. He rubbed her faster, willing her to let go.

'Come for me, my darling,' he said and as soon as she heard him, she did.

She cried out and bucked off the bed. Her pleasure exploded in wave upon wave, her limbs trembling, and her face the picture of passion. The sight of her like that was so breathtaking that his cock surged and he almost came himself.

Eventually, her orgasm faded and she stilled as her breathing slowly returned to normal. She gazed up at him with a deliciously sated expression on her face. Her brown eyes shone.

Remus's hand was still between her legs. He removed it. He lay down on his side close to her and propped his head up with his hand.

'That was… magnificent,' Hermione breathed.

Remus smiled at her. 'I'm glad you enjoyed it.'

Hermione's eyes travelled down the length of his body and came to rest at the tent in his trousers.

'Mmm, I think you enjoyed it too, didn't you?' she said with a smile.

He nodded. He knew what she was thinking of doing. 'You don't have to.'

'But I want to,' she whispered. She sat up and pushed his shoulder, encouraging him to lie down flat on the bed. 'It's your turn now.'

She leaned down, her still damp hair and hanging like curtains either side of her face. She kissed him, eliciting a moan from him before too long. She pulled away, much too soon, and he leaned up, eagerly trying to capture her lips again. She dodged out of his reach and smiled playfully, pushing him back down. She stroked her hand over the rough stubble on his jaw and bent over him once again, this time to kiss and lick and bite his neck. It didn't take much to get him gasping, his rigid cock straining against the fabric of his boxer shorts.

Hermione began a trail of kisses down his body, stopping briefly to tease his nipples with her tongue. She continued down until she reached the top of trousers. He waited in anticipation. His cock jumped at the proximity of her hand.

With steady fingers, she undid the button and drew down the zip of his trousers. With a little help from him, she removed them all together and his boxers soon followed. His erection was freed, jutting hard and proud for her to see. Initially, he feared she was disappointed but that seemed not to be the case because, with slow deliberation, she reached out and grasped it firmly.

He almost cried out at having her small hand wrapped around his cock. He wasn't normally very vocal when he was receiving pleasure, but it seemed everything changed when he was with Hermione.

She gripped him for a long moment, seeming to delight in the feel of him. And, when he was almost begging her, she finally began to move her hand slowly up and down his shaft. Remus's eyes rolled back into his head and his mouth dropped open as she pleasured him.

She seemed to be moving intentionally slowly and he moaned at the sweet agony of having his release postponed. He thought she must be able to read his mind because just as he cried out, '_More_,' she tightened her hold on him and increased the speed of her hand.

Remus felt his muscles tensing. His hands gripped the edge of the bed until his knuckles went white. His pleasure built and built, spiralling him almost out of control. Just as he thought he couldn't handle anymore, his body went rigid and he momentarily lost his vision. Then he was coming into her hand, his cock surging its release in one, two, three hot bursts. He groaned loudly and his vision returned to him.

Hermione was still holding him, but she was at him with a satisfied smile on her face. It was the first time she had pleasured a man, Remus remembered, and it looked like she had thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

_Beautiful_, Remus thought as he gazed back at her.

With seeming reluctance, Hermione let go of him. She looked down at her hand, noting that it was covered in his sticky release. Remus heaved himself into a sitting position.

'Sorry about that,' he said.

'Don't be,' she said with a smile.

She stood up, intending to wash her hands in the bathroom, Remus assumed, but as soon as she was on her feet, she swayed and sat back down on the bed. Her wound had been bleeding again. She looked pale.

'You need a blood replenishing potion,' Remus said, unable to keep the concern out of his voice. 'Get in to bed, darling, and I'll take care of you.'

She smiled weakly and did as he said. Remus got up and went to the bathroom to wash the last remains of his pleasure away. He returned with the potion from his medicine cabinet and gave her a dose. Then he reached into his wardrobe and gave her another of his t-shirts to wear and his favourite brown jumper, because she was now shivering from the cold.

'Your hair's still wet,' Remus said, realising that she wouldn't warm up any faster with damp hair. 'Let me dry it for you.'

He reached for a hairdryer, which he plugged in.

'No, it's ok, Remus,' she said, picking up her wand. 'I can do it by magic.'

He shook his head. 'I want to.'

She shrugged. 'Okay.' She turned to allow him better access.

He climbed onto the bed next to her and began carefully brushing her long, wavy hair.

Hermione sighed in contentment. 'You know, it's interesting how you've gotten electricity to work within a magical household. Most people wouldn't bother.'

'I know,' he said as he methodically brushed out the tangles that were caused by her thrashing about in ecstasy as he pleasured her. 'But my mother was a Muggle-born, so she always liked to have electrical items around the house. She taught me the charm that dampers magical background radiation that allows electronics to function well in a building where spells are being performed regularly.'

She nodded. 'It's a good idea.'

He spent a long time on her hair. After brushing it he dried it until it became silky, smooth, and hanging in waves down her back. They hardly spoke, both enjoying the comfort and intimacy that the activity afforded them. They were immeasurably happy, but deep down they could feel time slipping away from them and knew the moment would soon arise when she would need to go to Shell Cottage. They would be separated once more.

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	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you to all the people who have followed, favourited or reviewed the story so far. **

**There is only one more flashback and it doesn't appear until later in the story. But this is the chapter where the story finally starts progressing. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Usual disclaimer: I'm obviously not JK Rowling (I'm just a Harry Potter fan) and I'm not making any money from this story.**

**Also, I've mentioned this before but if you're into social networking, follow me on Twitter, Gryffindork11. It's the place where I do a lot of Harry Potter fangirlin' and I often tweet about this story and any others I'm currently planning (and believe me, there are many).**

Monday morning dawned with all the insistency of the pure song of early birds and the bright Spring sunlight. Hermione awoke, reluctant to give up her slumber, which was the only time that she had brief respite from her grief. She got out of bed and began her perfunctory morning routine: making her bed, washing in the bathroom, slipping into her work clothes and finally going into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea.

She knew she should eat. She hadn't had dinner and the last time she'd eaten had been yesterday lunchtime, nothing but a small sandwich. She felt empty but she wasn't hungry, and when she thought of food, she became queasy. She sat at the little table in her kitchen, slowly sipping her tea.

When she had almost finished her cup, there came a little tap on the window. She looked up and saw an owl outside, a letter secured to its leg. She got up and opened the window. The owl flew in and hovered long enough for her to untie the letter, and then it swept out again. She recognised Ron's untidy scrawl on the envelope.

_Dear 'Mione,_

_It's the anniversary party at Hogwarts tonight, isn't it? I know I promised I'd be there but I can't make it, sorry, babe. Something's come up. The captain wants us there for an extra training session this evening. Annoying, I know. But what can you do?_

_I spoke to Harry and he mentioned that he was bogged down with paperwork, so I'm not sure if he'll be there either, you'll have to ask him. _

_Sorry again, 'Mione. We'll have to go out together soon, my treat._

_Love you, babe_

_X _

Hermione huffed in exasperation. Ron knew how reluctant Hermione had been to attend the party at Hogwarts to celebrate the sixth anniversary of the end of the war but he had persuaded her to go by promising to accompany her. _How typically unreliable of him to put his Quidditch career above everything else_, Hermione thought.

Hermione remembered that Ginny had told her weeks ago that she wouldn't be attending. She was pregnant and not having a very nice time of it. She didn't want the bother of having to dress up and socialise with people when she would just be irritable and uncomfortable.

It was the first year that Hermione had actually accepted the invitation sent to her by Professor McGonagall, the Headmistress of Hogwarts. And it was also the first year that Harry, Ron and Ginny weren't going. Hermione would be going alone. _Great._

Hermione immediately considered not going. She didn't think she could face Hogwarts alone. She hadn't set foot in the place since the battle and she didn't think she could cope with being back where she had lost everything. And the thought of spending an evening with boring, old Ministry officials and their simpering, fake wives didn't thrill Hermione either.

She sighed, realising that she couldn't cancel. She had sent her invitation back to Professor McGonagall and her old teacher had been delighted that her star pupil was going to be attending the party. She looked down at Ron's letter, annoyed.

Knowing that she had been delaying unnecessarily, Hermione finished getting ready for work. She remembered to put her outfit for the party in her bag, so she could change into it at the end of the workday. Then she slipped on her coat and shoes and left her apartment.

For the majority of the day Hermione sat in her office and quietly got on with her work, trying to avoid looking at the clock ticking ever closer to the moment when she would have to make an appearance at the party.

Lunchtime served to break the monotony. For a change, Hermione decided to go the cafeteria in the Ministry rather than venturing out into Muggle London, which she usually did. She was sitting alone, picking half-heartedly at her salad when Harry spotted her. He ordered his food, a large plate of sausages and mashed potatoes and sidled over to her.

'Hermione,' he said in greeting, grinning at her.

'Hi, Harry,' she replied.

'How are you?' he asked.

'Oh, just fine,' she said with a sigh. 'And you?'

'Brilliant, thanks,' he said, not seeming to notice her morose tone. 'I felt the baby kicking last night, it was amazing.'

Hermione nodded, unable to match his enthusiasm. 'Is Ginny feeling better?'

'A little bit,' he said, eating his lunch with vigour. 'She's been a bit frustrated lately. She's already bored with maternity leave. But she can't work if the pregnancy is making her so ill.'

Ginny worked as a Quiddich correspondent for _The Daily Prophet_. Hermione knew that Harry considered himself lucky that his wife wasn't actually playing the sport itself. He'd worry himself silly if his pregnant wife even thought about riding a broom.

'I think my wedding is serving as a nice distraction for her,' said Hermione thinking of Ginny's delight at looking at wedding dresses at the weekend.

Harry swallowed a large mouthful of food and grinned again. 'I can't believe you're getting married. I remember when we were at school; you swore you wouldn't ever limit yourself by marriage. You said your career was far more important.'

Hermione shrugged. She wanted to change the subject. 'By the way, are you going to the Anniversary party at Hogwarts tonight?'

He shook his head apologetically. 'I can't, sorry. I have to stay late at work. Tonks will have my guts for garters if I don't complete my paperwork by the end of the week. It was supposed to be finished by the end of April!'

Tonks was now the head of the Auror office. Hermione hadn't seen her in years, even though Harry was very good friends with her.

Hermione sighed. 'Okay, I understand.'

Harry finished his meal and drained the last of his glass of pumpkin juice. He got up and smiled at Hermione. 'Anyway, I've got to go. I've got to go to an important staff meeting in ten minutes.' He eyed Hermione's plate, which was still more than half-full of salad. 'You should finish that. Ron's right, you are too thin.'

Before Hermione could contradict him, he rushed out of the cafeteria. She managed to eat a bit more food but soon found she was too full to continue. It seemed that after all the meals she skipped, her stomach had shrunk and could barely contain enough food to keep her going. On her way out, she tipped her uneaten food into the bin and went back to her office.

All too soon it was five o'clock. The work day was over. Hermione tidied her desk and reluctantly made her way to the ladies' restroom. Never before had she been less eager to leave work.

In the restroom, she changed into a trim yellow dress. She wore a white headband and white shoes. She transfigured her bag, changing it from black to white leather to match her accessories. She applied very minimal make-up and left her hair wild and untamed. She was relieved not to have to make an effort for Ron tonight.

When she was finished, it was half past five. She was proud of her ability to get ready quickly, rather than taking hours, like most women. It did, however, make her far too early for the party. She apparated just outside the castle grounds and walked up the rough, narrow path that led to Hagrid's hut. She thought she would catch up with her old friend before venturing into the castle.

''Ello, Hermione,' Hagrid said, opening his door and beaming when he saw that it was her. 'Come in.'

'Thanks, Hagrid.'

'You look nice,' he said as he shut the door. 'I take it you're actually goin' to the party this year?'

She nodded. She reached down and stroked Fang. He was very old now, but he was still healthy, even though he lacked the energy of previous years. She wondered if Hagrid had somehow magically extended his dog's life.

''E's still a daft old thing,' Hagrid said affectionately. 'Tea?'

'Yes, please,' she said, and clambered onto one of the enormous chairs at Hagrid's table.

They chatted for well over an hour. The sky outside began to darken. Through the window, Hermione could see the castle lit up. People had begun making their way into the Entrance Hall.

'Oh, it looks like the party's startin' Hagrid said. 'Shall we get goin'?'

She nodded and followed him out of his hut and up the grassy slope. They reached the great oak front doors. She took a deep breath and stepped into Hogwarts. She was surprised to learn that very little had changed. In a staggering feat of magical engineering, the castle had been fully restored to its former glory within a few months of the battle. It was still a wonderful place, grand and magnificent, but for Hermione, it was a place that was tinged with sadness.

Hermione and Hagrid went into the Great Hall and found it already full of people. The candles hung in the air below the enchanted ceiling. There was no sign of the long house tables. Tonight, there were little round tables around the edges of the room, but no one was sitting at them. Instead, the part guests were milling about, socialising. Music played- an unobtrusive background to the hum of conversation.

'Evening, Hagrid,' professor Slughorn said and then he noticed Hermione. 'My dear, it is good to see you. I hope you are well?'

Before Hermione could reply properly, Slughorn held her arm and began steering her towards a group of people he wanted to her to meet.

Hermione glanced back apologetically at Hagrid. 'I might see you later,' she called over her shoulder.

'Ah, Horace!' said a middle-aged man Hermione had never met before. He eyed Hermione with interest. 'And who is this delightful young lady?'

'Hermione Granger,' Slughorn replied. 'One of the best students I had the privilege of teaching.'

As the group of witches and wizards appraised her, Hermione glanced around at the group. Kingsley was there, wearing elegant robes of deep purple. He gave her a relaxed smile. She also recognised Healer Bonham, the head of St. Mungo's. As well as the middle-aged man, there were also two women she didn't recognise.

'Miss Granger,' Slughorn continued. 'Let me introduce you to Barnabas Cuffe, editor of _The Daily Prophet_.' He indicated the balding middle-aged man and then pointed at one of the women who was short and chubby with curly blonde hair. 'And this is Julia Lockwood, one of his top journalists- she'll be writing a piece on this celebration.' Julia smiled at her. 'And this is Natalie Miller, a talented Quidditch player and captain of the Wimbourne Wasps.' He pointed out the tall, dark-skinned woman who grinned at her.

'Pleased to meet you,' said Julia, offering her hand to shake, which Hermione accepted.

'And of course, there's no need to introduce Miss Granger,' said Slughorn pompously. 'You all must know her as Harry Potter's brilliant Muggle-born friend who helped him save the wizarding world!'

Hermione blushed. The group stared at her.

'And what do you do, Miss Granger?' asked Barnabas Cuffe.

'She works at the Ministry,' said Kingsley, 'in the department for the Regulation and the Control of Magical Creatures.'

Barnabas raised his eyebrows at her. 'Surely someone of your talents would rather be working for the Minister himself. His personal assistant maybe?'

Before Hermione could say anything, Healer Bonham interjected. 'I've always thought Miss Granger's skills would be better suited to the field of healing. Every month she makes a batch of her own Wolfsbane potion for the werewolves at the hospital. Simply amazing with potions, she is.'

'Ah, yes,' said Slughorn in agreement. He and Healer Bonham began discussing her skills as a potioneer.

'Hermione could excel at anything she tried,' Kingsley said graciously. 'Did you know, when she attended the wizarding university she was one of the only students to combine a magical-Muggle education. She has a joint degree in Transfiguration and Potions and a degree in Muggle biology. Genetics, wasn't it?

Hermione nodded.

'Well, it appears you certainly are multi-talented. Miss Granger,' Barnabas said. 'Damn, I should have worked harder to persuade you to work for the _Prophet_.

Hermione became overwhelmed as the group began talking loudly about Hermione's career choices and whether they were the right ones. They offered advice as to what they thought was the best use of Hermione's skills and qualifications. They gabbled away and Hermione found herself torn between answering two different questions from Julia and Healer Bonham. Hermione couldn't think over their incessant chatter. She had to get away but didn't want to appear rude.

'Excuse me,' she finally said to Natalie Miller, the only person who hadn't jumped into the discussion. The Quidditch played nodded and shot Hermione a sympathetic look.

Hermione managed to extricate herself from the group before Slughorn reeled her back in. She took a glass of champagne off the tray that a waiter was carrying around. She scanned the room, wondering what she should do now. She saw a group of her old Hogwarts friends, Neville, Dean, Parvati and Padma Patil and a few Hufflepuff students who had been members of Dumbledore's Army. She was reluctant to go and talk to the animated bunch because she didn't feel like mustering any enthusiasm, even if she was meeting people she hadn't seen in years.

Hermione took a gulp of champagne and pulled a face. She hated the taste of it, but the waiters didn't seem to be serving anything else. She realised that Mrs Weasley was standing a few feet away with Mr Weasley, Fred and George, Tonks and Professor McGonagall. Mrs Weasley noticed Hermione and waved her over.

'Hermione, I've just been talking about you,' Mrs Weasley announced. 'I was just telling Minerva and Tonks about your engagement to Ron.'

Hermione groaned inwardly. The subject she least wanted to talk about.

'Let's see the ring,' Tonks said, eagerly grabbing her left hand. 'Ooo, that's huge!'

Fred caught Hermione's eye. He raised his eyebrow at her suggestively and she blushed.

'When is the wedding?' Professor McGonagall asked.

'The end of May,' Hermione said, ignoring Fred and George's huge grins.

'Not long now!' Tonks exclaimed. 'Are you excited?'

Hermione nodded silently.

'How long have you been engaged?' Professor McGonagall asked.

'Since January,' Hermione said. She could cope with the facts rather than her feelings on the matter.

'That's not very long,' said Professor McGonagall frowned.

'Oh, well, they didn't see the point in waiting,' Mrs Weasley said quickly. 'They're so in love, you see.'

'You're not pregnant, are you, 'Mione?' Tonks said with a wink.

Hermione went bright red with embarrassment. Fred and George sniggered. Mrs Weasley shot them a stern look.

'No,' Hermione said.

'I'm sure it won't be long after the wedding though,' Mrs Weasley said knowingly. 'I'm sure Hermione is going to give me many grandchildren.'

Hermione wanted the ground to open and for it to swallow her up.

'Now, now, Molly,' Mr Weasley said to his wife. 'You're embarrassing the girl.'

Fred and George were still grinning, thoroughly enjoying the awkward situation Hermione found herself in.

'Well,' said McGonagall briskly. 'I'm sure any children Ron and Hermione have will be sorted into Gryffindor when the time comes.' She sounded proud.

'Maybe Ravenclaw, if they inherit Hermione's brains,' said Tonks.

'Let's hope so,' said George.

'We'd hate for your children to turn out like Ron,' Fred said.

'I'd be proud if they were like Ron!' Mrs Weasley said indignantly.

'I've been reading about his Quidditch career in the newspaper,' McGonagall said. 'I'm glad he's found success.'

Mrs Weasley nodded, eager to talk about her son. 'Yes. He's one of the best Keepers the Chudley Cannons have ever had!'

Fred and George snorted their scepticism. Mrs Weasley ignored them and continued.

'He's always sending us tickets to games, he's a good boy,' Mrs Weasley gushed. 'And the pay is excellent; perfect for when he and Hermione start their family.'

Hermione wished she were anywhere but there, listening to Mrs Weasley. Fred and George finally seemed to take pity on her.

'We make loads of profit in our shop,' Fred said loudly, not to be outdone.

While everyone's attention turned to him, George leaned down and whispered to Hermione.

'Go now, while you've got chance. I'll tell Mum you've gone to the loo or something.'

Hermione thanked him quietly and hurried away.

The atmosphere in the Great Hall had become too stifling. She decided to go outside for some fresh air. She was relieved to feel the cool evening air caressing her face. She looked over at Hagrid's hut. It was dark. He must still be inside the Great Hall.

Hermione began to wander over the grounds. She passed the place where she had punched Malfoy in her third year and remembered the incident fondly. She peeked in the windows of Professor Sprout's greenhouses and noticed that the students were still learning about the same plants that Hermione had when she was at school. She walked by Hagrid's hippogriff paddock, the place where she had first seen Buckbeak.

She eventually came to the edge of the Forbidden Forest. She gazed up at the dark trees and didn't feel as daunted by them as she had done when she was younger. In fact, now, she felt drawn to them. She had the strangest feeling that something was calling out to her. Curiously, she ventured inside the forest and began to explore.

It was odd. The Forbidden Forest had been the setting for many expected events that she and her friends had experienced at Hogwarts. Over the years it had been the place where Harry dared go into Aragog's lair, where she and Harry hid, waiting to save Sirius with Buckbeak, where Hagrid had hidden his brother, Grawp. And it had also been the place, six years ago to the day, where Harry had walked to his death. This forest had so much history, so much had happened within it but tonight it was quiet and almost… peaceful.

Hermione walked, stepping over tree roots, avoiding sharp, low-hanging branches. She felt like she had a purpose in being there, but she didn't know what it was. She continued walking, not caring if she ruined her little white shoes.

Within a few minutes she was deep into the forest and was in a part of it that she didn't recognise. She wasn't scared. But an owl hooted loudly and she jumped, startled only because it had broken the silence. She glanced round, trying to spot the bird and in that moment she tripped over a tree root and fell to the ground.

She wasn't hurt but she was surprised by her fall. She put her hands on the ground, ready to push herself up and that's when she noticed a small, black odd-looking stone lying at the base of the tree she had tripped over. She scooped it up and got to her feet. She studied the little rock by the light of the moon. She had never seen it before but somehow, it seemed important. She turned it over. It was cold to the touch. It was a strange shape and it had no markings whatsoever.

She clutched it in her hand, deciding to take it with her. She looked up, intending to get her bearings but she noticed a man next to her when there hadn't been before. She gasped and reeled back in shock and nearly dropped the stone.

Standing in front of her was Remus Lupin.


	10. Chapter 10

**Yay it's Saturday, my favourite day of the week because it's the day that I update. And I'm particularly excited about updating right now because Remus is finally in the land of the living :)**

**I am so pleased by your response to the last chapter. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and thanks to those of you who are following this story- 52 people now, woop :). I also want to specially thank Lupinesence, who has reviewed every chapter so far- your support and feedback really motivate me to write :)**

**This week I've been working really hard on the story. I've written up to chapter fifteen and I've planned chapters sixteen to twenty-four in detail.**

**Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling and I don't own Harry Potter. I'm a dedicated fan whose obsession with these characters compels me to write about them.**

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'Remus,' Hermione whispered tenderly, gazing at him in wonder.

He was silent. He hadn't moved. He simply stood there with a look of adoration on his face. He was dressed in exactly the same shabby robes he had been in the night he died. The moonlight that shone through the leaves on the trees illuminated his skin, giving it an ethereal quality. He was as tall as she remembered but his face was different; the scars he had borne on his face were gone. His hair was thicker and darker, with no streaks of grey. He looked years younger than he had been when he died.

'What are you doing here?' Hermione whispered, her voice faltering slightly.

He remained silent and she wondered if he could speak or not. Was she dreaming? Had her grief finally driven her mad? Or was Remus really standing in front of her? Slowly she reached out to touch his arm. Her hand passed right through him.

He finally spoke. 'Hermione.' His voice was full of longing but it had the same gentle gruffness that she remembered.

'Remus,' she said, her voice catching more now. She felt tears beginning to roll down her cheeks.

'Hermione, Hermione,' he said, taking a step forward. He sounded like he was trying to console her as well reacquaint his voice with speaking her name. 'My beautiful Hermione.'

Hermione was about to ask him how he had come back to her but she remembered the cold, hard little stone that she still clutched. She looked down at it and then slowly back up at him.

'I think… I think I brought you back… with this,' she held up the stone to show him. 'It's the Resurrection Stone.'

His eyes widened and he stared at the stone for a long moment. 'How long has it been?'

'Six years,' she murmured.

A series of bright flashes appeared in the sky followed by the rumbling sound of explosions.

Remus looked up and gazed through the canopy of leaves above them. 'Fireworks.'

'Yes,' Hermione said, unable to tear her gaze from him. 'It's the six anniversary of the end of the war tonight.'

They were silent for a while. The air felt cooler. Hermione shivered and noticed goose bumps appearing on her skin.

'You should get back to the castle,' Remus finally said. 'But leave the stone here.'

'No!' Hermione cried suddenly.

Somehow she understood that if she was to drop the stone back on the forest floor, the connection between it and Remus would break and he would disappear again. She couldn't bear to lose him again.

'You have to,' he said gently. 'I don't belong here. And it's not healthy for you. You need to forget about me and move on.'

'How can I?' Hermione said in an agonised voice. 'Don't you know what it's been like for me all these years?'

'Yes, I do,' he said honestly, his gaze sincere.

'Then how can you say that?' A wail of anguish was ripped out of her and she had to force her words out in between sobs. 'Every morning… I w-wake up and I expect to see you… b-but you're not there! I struggle through another day b-because I h-have to… and then I c-cry myself to sleep every night! What kind of life is that? It's not a life worth living.'

Her voice had become almost inaudible. She wept quietly, pleading with him with her eyes. The fireworks continued to go off, matching the emotional chaos that her mind had become. He watched her and said nothing for a long time. She cried until there was nothing left inside her. She was utterly defeated. Her eyes were sore, her throat was strained and her lungs pulled in deep gasps of air as she tried to calm down.

'Take the stone with you then,' he said slowly, as though he were carefully thinking about what he was saying, 'so I can be with you.'

'R-really?'

'Yes,' he said steadily.

She waited until the fireworks had ended. She knew that the guests would have all gone back inside the castle now. She turned the stone over and Remus disappeared. She felt a pang of loss but she knew that she could call him back to her whenever she wanted. She slipped the stone carefully into her bag and began to make her way back through the forest and over the castle grounds. Once she reached the beginning of the little path that led to Hogsmeade she took out her wand and apparated to her apartment.

As soon as Hermione was inside, she took the stone out and turned it again. Remus appeared once more. He momentarily gazed around the room, trying to get his bearings but he smiled as soon as he saw her. She stood awkwardly, not knowing how she should act. She placed the stone carefully on the table by the front door, which she used as a place to put her keys when she got home.

'I don't know what to do,' she said. 'This is surreal.'

'Just do what you normally do when you get home,' he suggested.

'Well… I could really do with a cup of tea,' she said.

He smiled and nodded, following her to the kitchen. She busied herself filling the kettle and setting it to boil. He watched her quietly, seeming to think that even the most mundane tasks were interesting when she performed them. She took a cup from her tea cup tree and set in on the counter. She glanced at him.

'Do you want-'

'No,' he said with a slight smile. 'In my… shall we say… current condition I don't think I need refreshments.'

'No, of course,' Hermione said, feeling silly. She made her tea and then turned around to face him. 'So… now what?'

'How about we go and sit down in your living room?'

'Okay,' she said.

Having Remus in her apartment felt utterly strange to her, especially as Remus was so normal, as though he had just popped round for a chat. Of course, many years ago she had dreamed about it happening someday but since she had lost him she obviously thought it would never happen.

She went into her living room and curled up in her usual spot on the sofa. She placed her tea on the side table. Remus sat next to her. It was odd. He was incorporeal. They couldn't touch each other but it seemed he could sit down without falling through his seat.

At first, Hermione felt awkward. After six years of separation, she wasn't sure how to talk to him or even what to say. But slowly, their familiar closeness came back to them. Soon Hermione was telling him, in subdued tones, all about her life and everything that had happened to her since the end of the war. He listened attentively and eventually Hermione's voice grew tired of talking.

There was eventually a lull in the conversation and they sat in comfortable silence for a while but Hermione soon broke it.

'Remus… where have you been since, you know…'

'Since I died,' he said quietly. 'You don't have to avoid saying it, I don't mind. It's the truth.'

Hermione closed her eyes and winced, feeling the familiar stab of pain that came to her when she thought about it. He was mentioning something she could hardly bear to think about.

'I was in a very strange place,' he said. Hermione opened her eyes to look at him, and he continued. 'I suppose it was… limbo. I don't know what else to call it.'

He began to explain to her all about the forest he had inhabited for six years. He explained about how he spent his time wandering and dreaming about her. He explained about the other wolves. And he even explained that he had watched her as she lived her life.

When he had finished, Hermione was astounded. She knew very few people must get the opportunity to speak to someone who had actually experienced the afterlife.

'So it wasn't… heaven?' She asked. She felt as though even her extensive vocabulary was ill-equipped to talk about ideas and places that went beyond anything any human could understand.

'No,' he said with certainty. 'It most certainly wasn't. I think it was a place for werewolves.'

He began to describe the forest in more detail. He told her that he was trapped in his wolf form when he was there and he tried to explain the desolation and solitude that he felt. He tried to describe the terrifying claustrophobia that loneliness and darkness caused. He tried to explain the relentless exhaustion of wandering the forest that was only interrupted by the blissful moments when he could hide from reality and lose himself in dreams of her.

Hermione had tears in her eyes. She could hardly believe he had existed in so terrible a place.

'You can never go back there,' she whispered.

He lifted his hand to her face and tried to stroke her cheek. His hand passed straight through her. It served to remind them of the impossibility of his existence in the mortal world.

'How can I stay?' he murmured. 'I want to, more than anything. I wish I could be with you but… I'm dead. So how can I stay?'

She shook her head, refusing to believe that she'd lose him again. 'I'll find a way to bring you back,' she said with certainty.

They resumed their conversation, speaking of everything and nothing. Hermione edged closer and closer towards Remus and they were soon as intimate as it was possible for them to be. It pained her that she couldn't touch him. She longed to hold his hand and snuggle into his side, to lay her head on his chest while he wrapped his arm around her. But at least he was with her. So for now, she was happy with the way things were.

The night wore on, but neither of them noticed. Yet Hermione felt herself growing tired and she struggled to stay awake. She was afraid that if she closed her eyes, he would disappear. But eventually she grew so drowsy she couldn't help but succumb to sleep, the most peaceful sleep she had had in six years.

Hermione awoke gently, her mind and body slowly shaking off the remaining vestiges of sleep. It was still dark. She never usually woke this early because she usually stayed up late, weeping into the night. She felt tired, although far less than she usually did.

She peered around her, noticing that she was in her living room. She had fallen asleep on her sofa. _Odd_. She frowned, initially unable to remember what she had been doing just before sleeping. As she awoke more fully, she suddenly remembered and her eyes widened. She glanced around and gasped. Remus was sitting on her sofa, quietly watching her.

'Good morning,' he said, smiling.

She smiled back at him. 'Sorry I fell asleep,' she said.

He shook his head. 'Don't worry about it. I was content just to sit here and watch you sleep. You looked peaceful for once.'

'How long was I asleep?' she asked.

'Only about three hours,' he replied.

Hermione stretched and Remus watched her. Her stomach rumbled. 'I should have breakfast.' It was the first time she had actually felt hungry in a long time.

She got up and he followed her to the kitchen. She didn't want to overdo it so she made herself a piece of toast and a cup of tea. She sat down at her kitchen table and Remus joined her. She ate in silence. Remus placed his hands near her cup and held them there, as if he were warming his hands.

'Can you feel it?' she asked curiously.

'A little bit,' he said and he began to concentrate more closely on the cup and his hand. Slowly, he closed his hand around it and Hermione watched in surprise, thinking that he'd managed it but his hand went straight through. She sighed in disappointment.

'I thought you'd made yourself corporeal then,' she said sadly. 'But you shouldn't be able to feel the heat of the tea. That has to mean something.'

'Maybe there's someone we can ask,' he said. 'An expert. But I doubt that anyone apart from you and Harry has used the Resurrection Stone for centuries.'

'I think we should keep it secret for now anyway,' she said. 'I mean… about you being back… people might not understand.'

He nodded. 'Okay, that's fine by me. I can't even leave this apartment without you taking the stone out with you, so I'm not going to see anyone.'

Hermione finished her toast and began drinking her tea. She glanced at the clock. 'I'm going to Flourish and Blotts before work to see if I can find any books that might be helpful. I'll have to start getting ready in a minute if I'm going to leave early.'

She quickly washed and dried her breakfast things and tidied them away. She left Remus in the kitchen and went to get changed into her usual work attire of a pleated skirt and blouse. When she was ready, she returned to the kitchen to see Remus before she left.

'I'm going in a second,' she said, her voice almost apologetic. 'I'm sorry to have to leave you here all alone. Are you going to be okay?'

He nodded. 'I'll be fine.'

'Feel free to make yourself at home. I'll ask my boss if I can have an extended lunch break and I'll come back here.'

On her way out she grabbed a banana from the fruit bowl that was on one of her kitchen counters. She opened the front door but she glanced back at Remus who had followed her into the living room.

'See you later,' she said happily, and left.

She apparated into Diagon Alley and walked up the old cobbled street with a spring in her step. For the first time in years, she began to feel better. The heavy weight of grief was gradually being lifted from her. She looked up at the sky and noticed how bright the morning sun was. Two young children ran past her, leading a dog on a lead which was galloping boisterously alongside them. Their mother followed, hurrying to keep up. Hermione laughed and the sound was strange coming from her but she was pleased.

She reached Florish and Blotts and went inside. No other customers were in at this time of the morning so she was free to browse the shelves at her leisure and enjoy the quiet before she arrived at the noisy, bustling Ministry.

She spotted a promising-looking title called _Myths of the Magical World _and she stretched up on her toes and pulled it down from a high shelf. She skim read the book's blurb and flicked to the index page, scanning for any useful words and phrases. Under _R _she found the words _Resurrection Stone_. The book had a few pages dedicated to the subject.

She glanced up at the clock in the shop and noted that it was just past half eight. She wanted to get to work so she could spend a while reading. She decided to buy the book so she went to the till to pay for it.

When she got to the Ministry, she ate her banana and made herself another cup of tea. She sat at her desk and turned to the first page that mentioned the Resurrection Stone:

_The Resurrection Stone, purported to be one of the three Deathly Hallows, the mythical magical objects originally owned by Cadmus Peverell and his brothers, has long been a matter of great debate for scholars. Its existence has never been confirmed, nor has its whereabouts ever been discovered. Yet, even the idea of the stone has captured the imaginations of great magical folk over the centuries, from Merlin to Dumbledore. _

_The stone has the power to recall spirits from the afterlife. It draws on the ancient magic of love and the user must have a deep, profound connection with the dead in order to raise it. _

_Allegedly, spirits raised by the stone are neither fully ghost nor fully human, but somewhere between the two. They are incorporeal, and cannot touch or be touched. They aren't translucent but rather solid in hue. _

_It is said that, depending on the strength of the relationship between the spirit and the user of the stone, a spirit can be held by the stone as their soul becomes bound to it until such a time that it is released and sent back to the spirit realm. If such a thing is possible, it would have to be an act of love, not hate, due to the nature of the stone. _

_The stone is claimed to be a source of fatal madness to its users, therefore it is very dangerous and can lead to the death of the user either by murder due to jealous seekers of it or by suicide, as Cadmus Peverell was supposed to have committed after being driven mad by the spirit of his lost love._

_The stone also has a dark purpose, because it is rumoured that it can be used to conjure an army of Inferi. The truth of this statement is debated by scholars because in order to conjure these undead beings, one must first give the spirits a solid form so they can exist physically on the mortal plain, and no such feat has been deemed possible. Further, the creation of Inferi is an abominable act of evil, and therefore directly contradicts the nature of an object that is so connected with love, a genuine, sincere and undying force of goodness._

_Further reading:_

_Magical stones, p. 25_

_The Deathly Hallows, p. 40_

_Peverell family, p. 49_

_Death myths, p. 91_

_Dangerous artefacts, p. 136_

Hermione finished the passage and was about to turn to the pages mentioned under the 'further reading' heading but she thought better of it. She should get started on her paperwork even though she had never been less motivated to work in her entire career so far. Her boss had agreed to let her have a long lunch but he would expect her to work harder to get her tasks done.

Reluctantly, she shut the book and slipped it inside her bag. Then she picked up her quill, unscrewed the cap of her ink bottle and reached for the first document she had to read and edit.

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**More soon :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank goodness ffnet is working now. I've been trying to login all weekend but every time I clicked 'login' an error would appear and I couldn't get any further :(**

**Thank you for all the reviews and follows I've received for this story :) it makes my day when I get an email in my inbox telling me that someone has reviewed/followed the story.**

**Usual disclaimers apply.**

**This chapter isn't that long but it does have a nice plot development :)**

**Enjoy :)**

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Remus found himself exploring Hermione's small apartment in her absence. He had swapped wandering a lonely, endless forest for a few quiet cosy rooms that bore the lovely recognisable scent of Hermione. Although he was alone, he infinitely preferred the latter.

Hermione's apartment was surprisingly light and open for such a small place. After she left him standing in her living that morning he began to take in his surroundings. The living room was dominated by a cream suede sofa that he imagined- he didn't actually know because he couldn't feel anything- would be comfortable. It was facing a flat screen television that was currently unplugged. Hermione probably didn't use it very often because she preferred to read above any other activity.

Along one wall of the living were a couple of bookshelves that Hermione had neatly organised all her favourite titles. One bookshelf contained all her Muggle fiction and non-fiction books. He noted that she had many interests ranging from Shakespeare's comedies to biology to history and even some books written completely in French. The other bookshelf contained all her magic-related books. He recognised a few textbooks from her Hogwarts days but her collection had grown exponentially in recent years. She had books on Animagi, books on various types of potions and, he was surprised to learn, quite a few books about werewolves.

Remus perused the bookshelves for a while, wishing that he could pick up a book so he could read it but he eventually moved away towards the patio doors that led to a garden that ran down the side of the apartment. The garden consisted of a relatively small strip of grass. Hermione had put in a flower bed and had planted many different breeds of flowers including daffodils, purple tulips and white, pink and red cosmos. At the far end of the garden was a plum tree that was currently blossoming beautifully.

Next, Remus went to Hermione's bedroom which was decorated in lilac and cream. It was clean, tidy and decidedly feminine. It contained a double bed, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and a bedside table with a little lamp. On the wall over the bed was a framed photo of an idyllic scene in the Scottish Highlands. Remus felt uncomfortable, like he was intruding in Hermione's private space so he didn't spend long in her bedroom.

Lastly he went to the spare room which was the only cluttered room in the apartment. Hermione mainly seemed to use the room for storage. There were several more bookshelves crammed with books that wouldn't fit onto the shelves in the living room. There was a trunk that he recognised as being the one she took to Hogwarts. There was another chest of drawers, a large suitcase on wheels and a few cardboard boxes, two of which were marked 'Mum and Dad' and the other, 'Remus'. He was surprised and wondered what was inside it.

He glanced up at the clock on the wall. It was just past noon. Hermione would soon be home for her lunch break. He decided to go and wait for her in the living room. He settled onto the sofa and gazed at the photo on the table beside the sofa. It was of Hermione and him, years ago when they had only just admitted their feelings for each other. The happiness in her eyes pained him because he couldn't help comparing it the false happiness that she was experiencing now. It wouldn't last. Remus couldn't stay in the mortal world for long. His presence was unnatural and wrong. And he couldn't bear for Hermione to be heart broken all over again, but this time, it would be even worse because he knew that she hoped that he would be able to stay with her. He wished he had persuaded her to leave the stone in the forest.

For the next half an hour, Remus looked at the photo until his vision blurred. With no one to interact with and nothing to occupy his mind, he began to withdraw into himself. He was as still as a statue and wasn't even aware of his surroundings. Slowly, he began to fade. He was becoming more and more insubstantial by the minute and soon, he would disappear altogether.

The distant sound of a door clicking shut seemed to reawaken him. He was like a stone sculpture coming to life. Uncertainly, he began to move, turning his head towards the source of the noise and when his vision returned he found that Hermione was back and taking her coat and shoes off. He looked down at his hands. They were just beginning to regain their colour. He was startled by what had nearly happened and he looked fearfully at Hermione.

'Are you alright, Remus?' she asked, frowning. 'You look pale.'

He nodded, not trusting his voice right now. He managed to smile at her.

'Look,' she said, pulling a book out of her bag. 'I bought this at Flourish and Blotts. It could be useful.'

She sat down next to him on the sofa and rested the book on her knees. She opened it to the correct page.

'See,' she said. 'It's got a whole section about the Resurrection Stone, surprisingly.'

They read the passage together. She finished before him and glanced at him expectantly.

'This is interesting,' he said, glad that his voice was normal. 'Especially the part about binding a dead soul to the Stone.'

She nodded. 'I want to do some more research on that.'

She got up and headed for the kitchen. 'I won't be a minute, I just need to make my lunch.'

Remus reread the passage about the Resurrection Stone. He skimmed over the list of further references made to it elsewhere in the book. He couldn't read them because he couldn't turn the page. He huffed in frustration. What a pathetic being he was. Not human but not quite ghost either, he was a man trapped between life and death. What sort of existence was that? He was in the world. He could see it, hear it, experience it but he wasn't truly part of it. Nothing could affect him and he could affect nothing. His very presence was unnatural.

And yet... being with Hermione, even in his current state, felt natural. Now that they were together again, he hardly registered their six year separation. Yes, it had happened and it had been the single most agonising, most heart-wrenching experience of their lives but when they had been reunited they had instantly connected. Their relationship was as intimate, as emotional as it had been before he died.

Remus listened to the sounds of Hermione making lunch, the opening and closing of the refrigerator, the clattering of a spoon on the counter and even the sound of her happily humming to herself. He felt uneasy. He worried that very soon his existence here would become impossible. His soul would be ripped from this world, torn away from Hermione. He feared what a loss like that would do to her. He knew it would be a lot worse for her now than it had been six years ago. His death had been sudden but she had had years to accept it, to grieve for him, to move on. His return had restored hope and love into her life. She was finally happy again but if she lost that, it would destroy her.

Remus returned his attention to the book, desperate for answers. Without thinking, he tried to pick it up and his hand slipped straight through it. He withdrew and carefully held his hand a millimetre away from the page. He stared it, concentrating on it intensely while he willed his hand to become solid. After a moment he slowly extended a finger and tried to touch the page. Once again, his hand passed through it as easily as it passed through the air.

Determined, he tried again and again without success. Despite the apparent futility of the exercise, he wasn't going to stop trying. Somehow, if he could re-corporealise himself, even if only for a second, it would prove to him that he was meant to be here. If he could manage a task as small as turning a page it would be an improvement on his current insubstantial condition. It would give him hope that slowly, he might be able to recover.

So he tried once more. Again, his hand slid uselessly through the book. He held his hand a hair's breadth away from the page. Even that was difficult. It didn't take much for his hand to fall right through an object. He held his hand steady, attempting to keep it as close to the book as possible without trying to touch it.

Hermione returned, carrying a plate of delicious-looking tomato, red pepper and pasta salad and a glass of pineapple juice. She settled next him on the sofa. Remus noticed that she was close but had left a small gap between them. He knew that she was avoiding touching him. He sensed that his incorporeality upset her.

'So what do you think?' Hermione asked him, indicating the book still lying open at the passage about the Resurrection Stone. She ate a forkful of pasta.

'There's not much information to go on,' he admitted. He glanced at the book. His hand was still hovering carefully above the page. 'Although I'm surprised the author managed to find this much about it.'

Hermione nodded her agreement. 'I doubt we'd be able to find an 'expert' on the subject. I don't suppose any academic would devote their career to an object that most people think is a myth.' She thought wryly of her old friend Luna Lovegood who had become a wizarding naturalist and spent much of her time physically searching for absurd creatures which surely did not exist. She took a sip of juice and turned to Remus. 'What do you think we should do?'

He was quiet for a moment, allowing himself to think. 'There's nothing we can do other than wait and see what happens.' He wasn't entirely satisfied with that and he didn't think Hermione was either.

She was looking at him with a strange expression on her face. Her hand had stopped halfway to her mouth, a forkful of pasta waiting to be eaten. She glanced down at the book and then up at his face. Her expression became confused. Then she dropped her fork and it fell to her plate with a clatter. She looked at him in excited astonishment.

'Remus...' she whispered in wonder. Her eyes shone with tears but she was suddenly smiling.

He raised an enquiring eyebrow at her, assuming that she'd had a revelation.

'Look,' she whispered, glancing down at the book again.

Remus lowered his gaze and realised that it wasn't the book that had caught her attention. He gasped and stared in shock for a moment. Then he looked up at Hermione and felt himself sharing her joyful smile.

His hand, which had previously been hovering above the page was now resting lightly on it instead of passing through it. His hand was corporeal.


	12. Chapter 12

**It's Saturday again- my favourite day of the week :) thank you for all your reviews, they mean a lot to me :) sorry I haven't replied to any of your reviews this week- my hours at work have increased. A colleague is going to be off sick for an extended period of time and I'm being trained so that I can take on her duties as well as my own. I'll be working a lot of overtime in November and December which means more money (yay!) but less time to reply to your reviews- as I'm spending most of my free time on the story. But I will reply as soon as I can!**

**Anyway, I'll stop rambling. Oh, and the usual disclaimers apply. Enjoy!**

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Over the next few days, Remus and Hermione settled into their happy new existence together. Hermione spent every spare moment she had with him. She cancelled her social engagements- including a date with Ron- without a second thought. And Remus started to notice a change in her.

She smiled, she laughed and she sang her favourite Muggle songs. She was eating healthily and starting to put on some much needed weight which she'd lost during her years of mourning. Even her skin and hair looked healthier. She was glowing with happiness.

Remus, who had watched her years of worrying decline, was delighted by her slow recovery. Despite his concerns about the situation, Hermione's mood affected his own. For the first time since he died he was experiencing feelings of joy and contentment. His attitude made him work harder to re-corporealise himself.

He practised for hours and he was soon able to turn the pages of the book Hermione had bought. He was overjoyed that he was able to read again. Before Hermione went to work each morning, she made sure to leave a book open for him on the sofa. He couldn't lift a book but he was strong enough to turn pages and he spent hours reading old favourites and discovering new ones in Hermione's personal library.

A few days after his return, he asked Hermione to get another book for him.

'What kind of book?' Hermione called from the bedroom, where she was getting ready for work.

'Any kind,' he called back. He smiled to himself. 'I'll leave it in your capable hands.'

'You know, I've got more books in the spare room,' she said. 'I just don't have room to keep them in here.'

She emerged from the bedroom wearing her usual blouse and skirt. Her unavoidably messy hair was tied back into a ponytail. Remus watched her fasten her necklace, thinking that she looked sexily professional.

'You can browse the other shelves if you like,' she continued. 'I'm just going to brush my teeth.'

Remus passed right through the wall of the living room and into the spare bedroom. Not having to open doors was a small advantage of his condition. He scanned the bookshelves and immediately saw several titles that he thought might interest him: _Humane Defences Against Dark Creatures, Expert-Level Defensive Spells and the Principles Behind Them, _

On the far end of the shelf another book caught his eye. It was bound with white leather and its spine was unmarked. It looked familiar. He felt that it was important somehow. He reached out to touch it, wishing that he was strong enough to lift it off the shelf.

'Have you decided yet?' Hermione said, poking her head round the door.

Remus quickly drew his hand away from the white book. It seemed to be a journal of some sort and he didn't want Hermione to think he was snooping. He glanced at her and nodded. He pointed to a random book on the shelf below.

'I think I'll try that one today,' he said.

Hermione picked up the book he indicated and looked at the cover. 'Oh, I haven't read this in years. This was a research paper written by Tammy Gardener, a girl I met at the Wizarding University. She was studying for a degree in Magical Defence and she was fascinated by the Patronus Charm. I think you'll enjoy this.'

'Could you leave it over there?' He asked, pointing to the cluttered desk in the corner of the room. 'I think I'll read in here today.'

'Of course,' she said, opening the book and placing it on the desk. She glanced at her watch. 'I'm going to have to get going. I've got a staff meeting this morning.'

She sounded less than enthusiastic about the prospect.

'Okay,' Remus said. 'Will you be back here for lunch?'

She shook her head apologetically. 'I can't.' She sounded as disappointed as he felt. 'The staff meeting is going to last all morning so I'm going to have to work through my lunch break to keep on top of my paperwork.'

She went into the living room to retrieve her bag and wand. Remus trailed after her, feeling like a puppy being left alone in the house for the first time. It would actually be his first full day without her. He was afraid that with no interaction he might begin to lose his grip on this world and start to fade again.

'See you later,' Remus said softly as she was leaving the apartment.

Remus sighed and went back into the spare room. His attention was caught again by that white leather-bound book. He tried unsuccessfully to figure out why it was so familiar to him. He tried to put it out of his mind. He knew that he wouldn't be able to pick up the book so there wasn't much point thinking about it. He settled into the chair at the desk and began to read the book Hermione had given him.

As he read, he felt himself going back into teacher-mode- something he hadn't done in a very long time- as he began to analyse the piece with academic interest. Many people would have said that the paper was unfocused because it explored many aspects of the Patronus Charm but Remus rather enjoyed it. It was less a research paper and more a short non-fiction book on the topic. It discussed the relationship between a witch or wizard's personality and the physical form of their patronus. It attempted to identify the reasons why one's patronus could change. It mentioned the phenomenon of otherwise magically incapable squibs suddenly being able to conjure a patronus when in great danger. It even entered the field of Muggle biology when it explained, in scientific terms, what physically happened in the body when a patronus was cast (a mix of endorphins and adrenalin made the Patronus Charm possible).

Remus read for about a while, but the research paper was quite short and he finished it quickly. He left the book on the table and got up. He went into the living room. It was only eleven o' clock. He began pacing up and down, working on the assumption that being active would prevent him from slipping away.

Soon, boredom had begun to set it. Before he had died, he had rarely experienced boredom. He had always been very good at keeping himself entertained, whether that was simply sitting and reading, going out for a walk with his trusty camera or even cleaning the house. He had found comfort from the methodical routine of cleaning. He hadn't been obsessive about it but his enjoyment in the task was unusual. Right now, that's what he wanted to do. Although it required little thought, the activity would serve well to ground his being in this world.

Remus went into the kitchen. He had already noticed that Hermione kept most of her house spotless and he was pleased that she possessed the cleanliness trait. Hanging on hooks fixed to the wall were a few cleaning implements such as a feather duster, a mop and dustpan and brush.

He reached out and ran a finger lightly down the end of the feather duster. At first he couldn't feel anything. But, slowly, he began to feel a tickling sensation from the feathers. It was another improvement. He could make his hands fully corporeal; he now had a complete sense of touch. He raised his fingers to the handle of the feather duster and felt its smooth plastic surface. He realised that if anyone was watching him, they'd think he was peculiar but his newfound ability meant a lot to him.

Concentrating intensely, he wrapped his fingers around the handle, making sure to keep them solid. He sent as much strength into his hand as he could muster and then he attempted to pull the feather duster from its hook. At first, it would not budge but he renewed his efforts and suddenly it slipped away. It felt unexpectedly heavy and he nearly dropped it but he managed to hang on.

He raised the feather duster, noting how exhausting it was to hold an object as simple as this. Slowly, falteringly, he began to move the duster back and forth as though he were actually cleaning something with it. It was very difficult at first. The act of holding the duster and moving it required twice the concentration. He practised until it became relatively easy.

He carried the duster into the spare room. It was the only room in the apartment that suffered from lack of attention. Remus sensed that Hermione rarely ventured inside so it was a less clean and tidy than the other rooms. Earlier, when he had been browsing the bookshelves, he noticed that the books were rather dusty. Now he had got the hang of it he set about dusting them.

Although he had difficulty navigating the duster over the spines of the books, he was pleased with the slow progress he was making. The familiar act of cleaning gave him a brief return to normality that he had missed for six years. As he worked, his gaze was drawn, once again, to that white book. But he continued until he had dusted the bottom shelf.

He straightened, groaning in exhaustion. He didn't think he could hold the feather duster much longer. His hand was beginning to weaken; he could feel it becoming less corporeal. He turned away, about to return the duster to the kitchen but he glanced back at the shelves. The plain white book had piqued his curiosity. He reached out his hand and stroked the smooth leather on the spine. Redoubling his strength and concentration, he grasped the book and began to pull it off the shelf.

He grunted with the effort of holding it. It was quite a bit heavier than the duster and required two hands to carry it over to the desk. He sank into the chair and used his remaining energy to turn back the cover. As soon as he saw what was written on the first page he remembered what it was. He was faced with his own writing:

_To Hermione,_

_Happy birthday, my darling. I'm sorry we can't be together today. I thought that this book would be the perfect way for you to keep in contact with me while you're gone. It is magically linked to my own journal; whatever you write on these pages will be transferred to me. Never forget that I'm always close, should you ever need me. Be safe and remember that I'm always thinking of you. I love you._

_Remus_

This book was the one he had given Hermione all those years ago. This was the book that she had written in daily, asking about his life, asking for news of the Order, telling him a little of her activities, telling him how much she missed him and, above all, how much she loved him. How could he have forgotten? With slow deliberation, he started turning the pages and began reacquainting himself with the letters that they had sent to each other.

As he read, he was struck by the force of their love. Even in their letters, they had been so intimate, so romantic, so passionate that it made his heart ache. He neared the end of the letters and he dreaded reading the last one because he knew that shortly after, he had lost his life and Hermione had had her heart broken. But he forced himself to press on.

The final letter had been written by her. It was dated the 30th April, less than twenty-four hours before the battle at Hogwarts began. Hermione had written to him from her bed in the guest bedroom at Shell Cottage. She had informed him that she, Harry and Ron were going to attempt to break into Bellatrix Lestrange's vault at Gringotts and Remus remembered feeling sick with worry about it. The letter finished, much too soon, and Remus turned over.

The next few pages were blank. The paper was slightly crumpled in places where Hermione's tears had fallen onto it and dried. The empty space was reminiscent of his long, lonely absence from the world. He quickly turned over again, feeling uneasy.

Next, he was looking at a newspaper cutting that had been stuck in. He was slightly startled to realise that it was an obituary for himself. It had a moving picture of him looking young and happy in his teaching robes. He knew immediately that it wasn't from The Daily Prophet. A newspaper so closely affiliated with the very anti-werewolf Ministry of Magic wouldn't publish an obituary for him. It must have been from another, more liberal wizarding newspaper. He began to read.

_Remus Lupin: 10__th__ March 1960-2__nd__ May 1998_

_The recent fateful 'Battle of Hogwarts' has claimed many lives. One of these was the brave, ex-Hogwarts professor, Remus Lupin. Despite the Ministry's attitude to those suffering with his 'condition' we feel that he deserves a tribute fitting for a war hero such as himself._

_Lupin was a half-blood, born and raised in the little Worcestershire village of Callowbrook to Lyall and Hope Lupin. Lyall had caused a feud with Greyback, an infamously vicious werewolf with a disturbing predilection for young children. At the age of five, Remus was bitten by Greyback to punish his father. His parents were, needless to say, devastated and hoped to find a cure for their son, to no avail._

_Despite Remus's status as a werewolf, he was accepted at Hogwarts. Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster of Hogwarts at the time, despised prejudice of any kind and agreed to allow Remus to enrol as a student as long as certain safety precautions were met._

_Remus did well at Hogwarts. He was intelligent, talented and was even made a prefect during his fifth year. He was close friends with Sirius Black, James Potter and Peter Pettigrew and when they graduated the four of them joined the First Order of the Phoenix. _

_Not much is known about Remus's life following the end of the First Wizarding War, though it is known that he had great difficulty finding work. He tried to keep his condition secret but it proved difficult since all werewolves must sign a register that can be accessed by the public. Once again, he was dependent on the kindness of Albus Dumbledore, who offered him the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts._

_Remus Lupin was perhaps one of the most popular teachers Hogwarts ever had. Most found him to be a kind, caring man dedicated to his students and their learning. Unfortunately, when his condition was revealed to the student body, he was forced to resign._

_When the Order of the Phoenix reconvened soon after, Remus proved a valuable member. His defensive knowledge and skills meant that he was an excellent dueller and he made an admirable lieutenant when Kingsley Shacklebolt became the leader of the Order in the summer of 1997. _

_Remus Lupin passed away on 2__nd__ May 1998, during the Battle of Hogwarts. He was murdered by Antonin Dolohov, a particularly cruel Death Eater with a known hatred for werewolves. His funeral will be held on 12__th__ May at the chapel in Hogsmeade. He has been posthumously awarded with an Order of Merlin, First Class and will he honoured in a memorial ceremony- along with the other people who died fighting- being held at the Ministry of Magic in June. We hope that society will learn from the example of Lupin's life and change their attitude towards werewolves but have doubts that this will happen. Remus Lupin's death has meant a true loss for the wizarding world and he will be missed by his friends, students and colleagues. _

Even though the situation was surreal, Remus was touched by the obituary that had obviously been written by someone who had admired him. It was strange to see his life summarised into a biography short enough to fit into a newspaper article. They had glossed over his school days, his teaching career and his role in the Order of the Phoenix but, of course, they hadn't- and couldn't possibly have- mentioned the most meaningful, the most profound part of his life: his love for Hermione. It was during moments with her when he had been the greatest man he could have been.

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**Thank you for reading. There are some nice fluffy moments coming up in the next chapter, so stay tuned :)**


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